Surviving Domestic Violence And Learning To Love Again

Surviving Domestic Violence And Learning To Love Again

Never tell a survivor that it is "easy" to bounce back from their lowest point.

127
views

*I personally have NOT been through any of the events described here, nor am I a domestic violence survivor. I write this with the help of sources and personal stories/experiences.*

When you are a victim of domestic violence, you don't want to tell anyone. You fear that no one would believe you.

When you are a victim of domestic violence, your guard only gets higher and higher. You are afraid of letting anyone in.

You are afraid to speak up, even when you always could. You are terrified of fighting back.

What if it hurts more this time?

You don't think you will survive. You don't think you will make it.

You will.

Survivors and current victims still have difficulty trying to get back out again, to feel normal. Once something horrible happens to them the first time, they are hesitant and super sensitive for a really long time, possibly for the rest of their lives.

Domestic violence is defined as a type of harm, and this harm can be physical or mental. Did you know that it does not have to be from someone who is in a relationship with you? Domestic violence accounts for anyone who lives with you in the same home, whether it is your boyfriend, girlfriend, mother, father, or sibling.

That is a common misconception we tend to find with DV. Abusers do not have to be dating you. You just have to live under the same roof with this person in order for it to qualify as domestic violence.

Most often, females are typically the main targets. Males are typically the suspects. 85% of domestic violence victims are women, and women are most often victimized by someone they know.

BUT men can be victimized, too. More than 1 in 4 men have experienced some type of domestic violence by an intimate partner or someone they familiarize themselves with.

These numbers do not lie, and it is so very unfortunate and sad. It keeps happening and happening.

Warning signs for domestic violence include controlling behaviors (not allowed to hang out with friends or family; money handler); threatening to hurt you, your children, or your pets; showing extreme jealousy of everything you do; constantly putting you down; preventing you from making your own decisions, etc.

All of it is scary, but one of the scariest things to get back into is loving someone again. As a survivor, you tend to feel like you will never find a good relationship again or be able to build your life back up. You are unable to trust or let your guard down. You think every relationship will end up in the gutter.

This is not always true. There is always hope, and there is help for that.

You are able to love again, and there are guidance options if you have any questions or fears.

Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence is a non-profit organization that helps victims AND survivors with any problems, issues, or fears they may currently have. This group provides a nationwide network of resources and support for survivors and families affected by domestic violence.

If you need guidance, help, or just someone to talk to, contact them! You can find all of their information on their website or Facebook page.

If you or someone you know is a victim/survivor of domestic violence and is still currently struggling for help, please call these phone numbers or go to these websites.

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence: 1-855-287-1777

https://www.thehotline.org/ (The Hotline)

https://www.breakthesilencedv.org/ (Break The Silence Against Domestic Violence)

Any kind of help matters and you are not alone, ever.

Popular Right Now

To My Boyfriend's Ex

I just had to get this off my chest.

760
views

The thing about living in a fairly small town, the same one where my boyfriend and you, his ex live, is that I'm bound to run into you. Beyond that, even if it weren't for him, we already run in the same circles. I'm sure you think I hate you or that I can't stand you.

That couldn't be further from the truth, though. Let me tell you how I feel about you because I want to get this off my chest and also clear the air for you.

Honestly, I'm a little bit jealous of you. When I look at you, I can see what he saw (and still sees in you). You're beautiful, you have a bubbly personality, you're driven, and you're fun to be around. You also like a lot of the things he likes. I've come to know this because I do too.

So in turn, that means you and I have these things in common. So yeah, at first I was really jealous of you. You seem great. I truly mean it.

I'm thankful for you. If it weren't for his experiences with you, he wouldn't be the same person he is today. And I don't mean that in a snarky, "thanks for screwing up" way. I genuinely mean it in the most sincere way. I'm so glad he was able to go through ups and downs with you and have the times with you that he did. I hope you still cherish some of those times as he does.

That's another thing, I can tell you're great from the way he's talked about you. At first, I wondered if him speaking so highly of you was a sign he didn't care for me and didn't want to be with me.

But I now realize that it's truly just that he values the time you two spent together even though it didn't work out. I have a large amount of respect for you, and I respect the fact that he doesn't feel the need to resort to "put you down" in order to make me feel better. That's not what we're here for. There's no need for that.

Also, I'm sorry. I'll be completely honest: I'm happy things have worked out for him and me, but I am sorry to you because that means they didn't for you, and if I understand correctly, you really wanted them to. With where he and I are at now, I can't imagine the pain of losing him. So if it was anywhere near as painful for you as I imagine it would be for me, I'm sorry.

I don't expect you to want to be friends. I don't expect you to like me. I don't expect any of that.

I just hope you know I carry no ill feelings around toward you because of him. Honestly, the feelings I have toward you regarding him, are positive.

So, thank you. Maybe this whole "living in a small town and running into your boyfriend's ex" thing isn't all that bad.

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Top Lang Leav Quotes For The Girl In Love

"Who you love and who loves you back determines so much in your life."

77
views

One of my favorite modern poets is Lang Leav because she captures love and loss in a way that's both easy to read but also powerful. Some of her poems seem simple, but they hold such deep meaning when it comes to love, heartbreak and finding yourself. I'm not going to lie to ya'll, some of her heartbreak poems hit pretty hard. But, this isn't about heartbreak, this is about the beautiful feeling we call love.

Here are some of my favorite quotes by Lang Leav about love:

"It's so dark right now, I can't see any light around me.

That's because the light is coming from you. You can't see it but everyone else can."
Love & Misadventure

"You were you,
and I was I;
we were two
before our time.

I was yours
before I knew,
and you have always
been mine too."
Love & Misadventure

"I had my first dream about you last night.
Really? She smiles. What was it about?
I don't remember exactly but the whole time I was dreaming, I knew you were mine."
Love & Misadventure

"I love you, I do -
you have my word.


You have all my words."
Lullabies

"Souls do not have calendars or clocks, nor do they understand the notion of time or distance. They only know it feels right to be with one another."
Love & Misadventure

"It was a quiet love, a tacit love. It came without prelude or preamble. We never said the word love–we didn't have to. It was in our laughter, in the sense of wonder we found in each other. And if we had doubts then, time has told us otherwise."
The Universe of Us

"How much love is a person capable of giving? I thought I knew the answer until I met you."
Sea of Strangers

"When love finds you, it doesn't come as crashing waves or thunderbolts. It appears as a song on the radio or a particular blue in the sky. It dawns on you slowly, like a warm winter sunrise—where the promise of summer shines out from within."
Memories

Be still, my heart.

Whether you're falling in love or already madly in love, these quotes are sure to hit your heartstrings. Not to mention, they make pretty good Instagram captions for all your sappy love pictures!

Related Content

Facebook Comments