There is one day a week that is more important than any other. That day is Sunday. Unfortunately, I am a heathen and going to hell, so it is not because of religion. My true faith is football. That faith was actually just tested when a friend asked me to attend mass. I really would, except an irrelevant game of football is on. I don’t even have any fantasy players in the game. That’s dedication. Basically, I spend eight hours every Sunday watching football trying to pretend like it’s not a waste of time. I am also trying to finish this article before halftime, so here is the way I spend every Sunday.
First Down- Setting my Alarm
Regardless of my state on Saturday night, I will always have enough time to set an alarm for noon on Sunday. That hour before kickoff is just enough time for me to tinker with my fantasy lineup to ensure a loss. Then, it's off to the dining hall to eat breakfast just as the games start. Breakfast and football? Win-win.
Second Down- Early games
After breakfast I go right to the lounge with my laptop. Nothing like watching a game on TV while attempting to stream the Panthers game. Seeing it blurred and buffering still counts, right? At this point, I am locked in my favorite seat and ready to not move for three hours. I check my fantasy every five minutes, yell at the screens, and try to avoid human contact.
Third Down- Late games
By four o’clock, I have successfully ignored other people. My friends who don’t watch football are sending me frantic texts, wondering where I am. The answer? In the bathroom crying tears of joy because the Panthers are still undefeated. My mood also depends on my fantasy team, which isn’t a good recipe for happiness. At halftime, friends are dragging me away from the TV because otherwise I would miss dinner. Yep, football over food - every time. But if I time it well, I eat during half time, and don’t miss a single play. That’s called efficiency.
Fourth Down- Night game
By Sunday Night Football, I am almost tired of football. Keyword almost. Carrie Underwood always manages to drag me back. I also try to get some work done because people start to wonder how I still pass in classes without doing work on Sundays. I also am responsible for calling my family on Sunday nights, which can be a tough call if there’s a good game. I call during halftime, but sometimes my mom actually wants to talk to me, and all of a sudden there’s only ten minutes left in the third quarter. She still tries to get me to stop watching football and do work, long distance style. By the end of the game, I am struggling to realize I have class in the morning and need to sleep. The only thing that gets me through Monday? Monday Night Football.
