“You really need to get your life together…”

A friend made this comment to me a few weeks ago in regards to the fact that I almost never fold my clothes when putting them away.

It got me thinking, does this person really even know how terribly offensive this comment is? Probably not, because they are not aware of my dealing with severe anxiety.

I have seen multiple Facebook posts concerning anxiety in the past month. They all tread along the same rift of water and explain of how crippling anxiety is. But I have rarely seen any that discusses how truly embarrassing it is when faced with comments like these. My self esteem went down instantly and it can be difficult to recuperate from scenarios like that? Thoughts went through my head like does everyone think that about me? And, if they do, do they laugh at me? Get annoyed at my “different” way of living?

Anxiety isn't just a mental illness that produces debilitating attacks, stigmas that our society just cannot seem to let go of for whatever reason, and exhaustion that can last for days (I’m not talking just a few days either. I have dealt with the aftermath of an anxiety attack for up to four days afterwards given the severity of situations). Anxiety is a part of life for some, whether it be a small or large one.

So, if we are able to write about it and talk about it and feel comfortable when finding others who deal with it, why is it still so hard to come to terms with when explaining it to other people? I am just as guilty of this, as I didn’t think twice about correcting my friend. If I had the balls to, I probably would have said something along the lines of my having dealt with a daylong anxiety attack. But I hardly doubt they would have understood.

Anxiety is messy and insanely unorganized. It can ruin relationships and friendships (I have experienced both in my short lifetime). It can make you feel like you are less of a person not for any other reason, but for the mere fact that society has enforced this stigma upon us that we are human beings that are unable to live a “normal” life.

But why should we apologize or attempt to defend any of that? To me, personally, this way of life is normal, as I have never known anything else. I still maintain great grades, have travelled, write a blog, and manage to live a fairly exciting and very happy life. I know many others who deal with anxiety on the same level as me, some who struggle with this obstacle far worse than I do. They live a healthy and superb lifestyles, as well. So, why are we stuck in this ditch where we feel like we have to dig ourselves out of using apologies and defenses? I see no reason to ever say sorry for my lifestyle or the way that I am. My anxiety, while it may be treated and under control a decent amount of the time, will always be triggered by something, whether it is an ignorant comment or a severely terribly situation. Regardless, those with anxiety should never have to explain to anyone why they are the way they are. It is simply just a different way of living life and it is one that should never be looked down upon or questioned in the slightest.