Focusing on what you dislike about yourself, or your life, can become second nature. It's easy for us to look at a celebrity's, or even our own acquaintances', life and wish we had their career, their money, their clothes, or even aspects of their personality that we feel we are lacking. In fact, I do not think we even realize how much we do this. It has become an everyday thing -- for many of us -- to focus on the things we wish were different.

We focus on the things we could do "if we only had more money." We focus on summer vacations that we will never be able to take, because some of us have to work year-round or cannot afford to take the time off. We focus on the weddings and babies we haven't been able to have yet, because we are focusing on our careers, on school, or we just haven't found the right person to do life with, yet. We focus on the things we hate about our job, and ignore the fact that we have a stable income and a roof over our heads. We focus on the talents that we wish we had, such as a beautiful singing voice or the ability to draw something other than a stick figure; instead of taking the time to explore our own talents and utilizing them. We have become the first species on the planet to focus more on "what-ifs" than actually living happy lives.

It's OK to have dreams and aspirations. It's OK to want something bigger or better for your life. It's even OK for you have a moment of desperation and wish for your life would play out little differently. What isn't OK? Spending every day wishing and waiting for your life to change -- to be more like someone else, to be rich, to be powerful, to be known, or to be the type of beauty that society recognizes and appreciates. Sitting around moping about your life -- or focusing on the things you think are wrong with yourself -- will not get you anywhere. You are stealing your own happiness, and making yourself a more cynical person.

We all do this, and it can be damaging to our self-worth and confidence. For a long time, I even told myself that these feelings were unavoidable. We always want what we cannot have, right? This type of thinking caused me to live a life that focused solely on the things that I felt were missing.

Each time I looked in the mirror, I focused on the features I wish God had made a little differently. "My nose is slightly too big," or, "This damned cleft chin," had become every day thoughts. I no longer saw my adorable freckles or my pretty blue eyes staring back at me. They were masked by my own negative thinking. When I scrolled through Instagram or Facebook, I saw vacations that I knew I would never be able to take, friendships that I wish I had, clothes I wish I could afford, singing voices I was envious of, or the friendships I wish I hadn't lost. I never once thought to myself, "wow, you know so many people and have such a large supportive family," or, "how great is it to live in a world that we can stay connected to so many people?" When I went to work, I focused on the girls I didn't necessarily like, how I wish I had more time for my boyfriend or family, or how little I felt like I was being compensated monetarily. I never actually had the positive bubbly personality that I was pretending to have.

I have recently realized that I trained my brain to think this way, and I noticed just how much of an impact it was having on my life and my happiness. It feels like second nature to think so negatively, but it is something that you can control. It takes a lot of practice, and a lot of time. A lot of prayer, too. To be honest, I haven't even completely figured it out, myself. I am trying, though, and that is all I really can do -- is try.

So far, trying has been working. I have noticed that I am starting to think more positively about myself, and even others. Every time I think of something negative, I try to replace it with three positives. I try to focus on the things I have, versus the things I do not. Slowly, but surely, my brain is being trained to think positively on its own. Each day that passes requires less and less "training." The more I worked towards accepting myself and my life, the easier it was to be content and feel true happiness. I stopped waiting for my life to change and focused on changing my view of it.

I encourage anyone struggling with these emotions of discontentment to recognize the damage you are causing to yourself, and take action. You can control the way your brain thinks. You can teach yourself how to be happy. I am not saying it's going to be easy. It's going to be really hard, I won't lie to you. It's going to be hard. It is worth every minute and tear, though. I promise you that.

Stop focusing on the things you are not. Stop thinking about the things you do not have. Stop thinking about the places you will never get to go. Stop thinking about the nice car or the pretty clothes you wish you had. Stop waiting for your life to change. Start focusing on how you evaluate your own life, instead. Remind yourself of your blessings every day. Recite it out loud until it is embedded in your brain, if that is what it takes. Learn to be happy with, and thankful for, the life God has given you.

Once you are able to love yourself, and love the life you live, amazing things will happen. Your life will change. In ways you cannot imagine; in ways you did not think were important to you. Stop waiting for your life to change. Change your way of thinking, and do something about it.