Another match on Tinder. Another notification on Bumble. Another first date. Another "I'm not ready for this". Another boy that isn't quite right for you, but you go on a second date anyway.
Trust me, I know the process oh too well and I'm just as eager to find the one for me as you are to find the one for you, but there is just something about all these boys that just isn't right. Something just doesn't feel right about the date and about the phone call.
The conversation doesn't flow and it feels like you are pulling all the weight but then it hits you! "I can fix him!", you tell yourself. "He just needs someone to love him right. He just needs me to walk into his life and treat him like he should be treated and soon he will fall into my arms", you say in your head.
After a few dates, you start to realize the person he is. He is finally coming out of his shell and he tells you about his past and what he wants for his future. You see that he was once broken and it's now time for you to start putting his pieces back together. You are so ready to love him and, in your mind, it seems like he might finally be ready to love you too. It may take a little work but after you put his pieces back together again he's all yours and you can't wait for him to finally fall into your arms.
Let me just start by telling you that if he ain't the one, he ain't the one.
I know girl, I'm just like you. I think I can fix boys that aren't ready to love me and I think I can fix what happened to them in the past and I think I can fix what once broke him but I can't, and neither can you.
You are not going to change him unless he wants to change. You are not going to make him better if he isn't ready to be better. You aren't going to change his past because it is a part of him and you aren't going to be able to pick up the pieces that the last terrible girl left him with. He is hurt and he is damaged just like you are and it is time for you to accept that and let him be ready on his own.
It's time for you to stop trying to make him love you. Stop begging him for the things you need. Stop asking him to give you the world because unless he is ready, it's not going to happen.
You shouldn't have to beg a boy to love you.
Read that again.
You shouldn't have to beg a boy to love you.
When things are right you are going to know it so as of right now, stop asking that boy to be a man, stop begging him for the attention you deserve, stop trying to put together his pieces and let him do it for himself just like you did for yourself. Take one giant step back, let him be ready for you, and stop trying to fix that boy!
