On my first day of college, I walked into the dining hall like a child on Christmas morning. There were so many options, I didn't know where to begin. I could choose from a stir fry bar, six different kinds of pizza, vegetarian options, a sandwich station, and the largest salad bar I'd ever seen. There was an array of cookies, brownies, pies, cakes, and an ice cream machine! How could I ever run out of options? Every meal, there was something new to choose from. As the days went on, I developed my personal favorites. The BBQ chicken pizza is to die for, and the french fries are some of the best I've ever had. Fresh fruit makes a great side to any meal, and there is plenty of it. The chocolate cake is also extremely hard to resist. I was excited for every meal.

The dreaded "freshman 15" was something I'd also considered to be an extreme exaggeration. Most of my older friends had come home from their first year of college looking exactly the same. Their advice was that if you balance your meals well and exercise regularly, there's nothing to worry about. At home, I'd always eaten three regular, balanced meals a day. As long as I kept drinking milk and eating vegetables, I assumed that I would continue to eat the same way through college. All of my classes are a solid ten-minute walk from my dorm, so exercise is certainly something I get plenty of. I decided that I had nothing to worry about. I've always been a healthy weight and had a healthy body image. As long as I kept doing what I've always done, then I would be fine. Right?

I learned very quickly that many of the girls, and guys, around were much more concerned than I was. I met several girls whose mothers made them bring scales to school, and expected weekly updates on their weight and eating habits. The majority of comments about food at dinner were negative. "I'm going to have to do an extra ab workout tonight to make up for these fries." "The only reason I got pizza tonight was because I went for a run this morning." The more people obsessed about their own eating habits, the more they focused in on the eating habits of others. I noticed this firsthand. "Boy Kyra, you must really enjoy that chocolate cake. This is the second time you've had it this week." "I wish I could eat the way you do and get away with it." Soon, I began to question my own eating habits. Should I be eating better? Am I setting myself up for weight gain? Do I need to start going to the gym everyday?

Before long, I felt guilty every time I looked down at my plate. After dinner, I would walk back to my dorm feeling disgusted. Did I really need to get those french fries? Why did I pick up a second chocolate chip cookie? Never before in my life had I worried about my weight. Now, I couldn't get through a meal without feeling bad about myself. It was unhealthier than the ice cream I'd made myself stop eating.

I am lucky to have a supportive family and loving friends that reminded me why this was something I've never worried about before. I am comfortable with who I am and how I look. However, this is a message that many college freshmen do not receive. There is so much to deal with, between a heavy workload, keeping an active social life, and the pressures of being on our own for the first time. The last thing we need on top of all of that is the message that food in the enemy.

This is not to say that you shouldn't think before filling your plate. However, there should not be any guilt involved with the dietary decisions you make. We should be eating with the goal of remaining healthy, not with the goal of staying thin. While those used to be the same things, the message has shifted now and is resulting in unhealthy behavior. What you put into your body is a way of loving it, not of punishing it.

This is why I am done talking about the freshman 15. I no longer feel guilty when I choose french fries and chocolate cake as regular part of my meal because I balance it out with fresh fruits and long walks around campus between classes and after dinner. This morning I ate a chocolate doughnut for breakfast and made the decision to remove the candy corn from the top of it. Because, balance. Find your balance and love yourself.