I have never been the girl who was fully secure about her weight or had friends compared themselves to me saying " I wish I looked like you". While internally, I have had many thoughts about my own appearance, I have been able to remain pretty body positive for the most part. The only time it really hits me is when I go to the doctor and they say "Okay I'm going to take your height and weight". I have never really thought of this being abnormal just because everyone else seems to feel the same way but then I thought why is that?
Now I don't want this to be one of the thousands of articles that scream self-love and body positivity. Even though I think that's extremely important, it has been done. I want to shed light on part of the problem.
I am now a sophomore in college and my first week of being home for summer has been pretty chaotic. However, a lot of emotions have arisen throughout the year with the conception of "the freshman 15" I think everyone has heard it, everyone dreads it. However, I think the biggest issue is how much it is talked about. The number of times I have heard "Oh my gosh have you seen so and so? They've gained so much weight. Or "She looks so different from when I last saw her." My mom always raised me to make weight a private thing. I always thought it was rude to talk about someone's weight but I feel like in recent years that has really gone out the window. Whenever my friends are describing someone, especially the boys, they will use words like "Thick" or "heavy" and even though sometimes they believe that is the same connotation as curvy, it's not.
Honestly, I think we need to stop talking about weight and acting as if it should come up in the small talk. I'm so sick of hearing about everyone's opinion of other people's bodies. It's none of your business and who are you to judge? Most of the time, the people are they talking aren't even overweight and extremely healthy. This leads to even more issues though. Even when my friends aren't talking about me, it's easy for my mind to wander and think "well what are they thinking about me?". Even if they're not, their willingness to talk about other people definitely alludes to the fact that they might be.
Maybe it's just my friends but I fear it's not. I think everyone is guilty of judging people but especially with body types. We are constantly comparing ourselves to the body that we believe is better than ours or the friend we think is prettier than ourselves. This is really sad in my opinion and I think people don't realize their influence when they talk about other people negatively. I know it's really hard for myself when I see people talking about a girl and calling her "fat" or whatever negative word choice they choose and that girl is easily smaller than me. I can't help but think that I must be so overweight in their eyes, even without them directing anything towards me. This also goes for people who talk negatively about themselves. I find it really hard when people who are smaller than me call, themselves fat or shame themselves for eating a certain food. It just makes me feel like I should maybe be more self-conscious.
Overall, I feel like other people might feel this way to and it's a hard thing to correct because it's happening everywhere. The best advice I can give is to that if you are going to work on your body or feel that you have to, do it for yourself and do It because you want to, not because some random person made you think you have to. It's your choice, your decision and no one else has the right to say anything about your body so don't let them bring you down.