Here I am again, setting a timer for my teeth-whitening trays. I look in the mirror at the bags under my eyes and sigh. I do so many things that I hate to look a way that I like. I whiten my teeth. I wax my legs. I go on diets. I work out, even though I hate it most of the time. I scrutinize my face in a mirror, seeking imperfections.
My eyes are not my own. I'm seeing myself through the contact lenses that society has taught me to stick in before looking at myself in a mirror. It's me telling myself that I need to look a certain way so that I can be successful and so that I can be loved. After all, I can only be happy if I finally look like I've always wanted. We base so much of ourselves on our appearances.
If you dyed your hair a new color, people will ask why and say, “Wow, it looks good” (even if they don't actually think so). You'll stand there speechless, thinking: "I thought that it would make me look better, but I can't say that out loud." So, you just say, “I felt like it.” It's a cycle. It's you judging yourself, changing yourself, and then people judging those changes.
If someone makes a fat joke, say, "Yeah, I can eat an entire pizza on my own and I’m proud of that.” If someone implies that you’re a slut because your shirt is too low or because your skirt is too short, say, “I have great boobs/legs, why shouldn’t I show them off?” You see, your appearance doesn’t matter to anyone except yourself. I promise. People see what they want to see in others. If they like you, then they’ll see the good. If they don’t like you, then there’s nothing that you can do to stop them from looking for the bad. I hope that they see you for more than your body. I hope that people see you for your talents, and dreams, and potential.
Society tries to tell us to be “better.” What if a better version of ourselves doesn’t consist of whiter teeth, slimmer thighs, and clear skin? What if we want to be the best version of ourselves because of our values? What if people were more likely to notice internal changes instead of physical ones? What if we paid more attention to people’s smiles, rather than the color of their teeth? What if we listened to what leaders had to say, and didn't focus on their image on the screen? What if we dared to believe that what the media sells is a lie and if we dared to not care what body standards we meet?
So, don’t do crazy things to look a certain way. Embrace your pale legs, your skinny arms, and your unruly eyebrows.
Here’s my vision: we can erase the damage that our society has done to people’s images of themselves. We can wipe away the scars that develop into anorexia, shame, or even just looking in the mirror and sighing. I would take all that energy, time, and money that is put into selling looks and funnel it into making our world a better place to live. I would make a world that doesn’t sell comparison and jealousy. Instead, it would promote community and togetherness. If I had the power, I would take every negative thought that you’ve ever had about your body and send it away. You deserve someone who thinks and knows that you're beautiful. If you start thinking positively about your body, then you will think positively about yourself in general and you will be the you who you've always wanted to be.
