You have always been the funny friend. You have never been the prettiest, smartest, or coolest, girl. Guess what? Me either.

I had the world’s most awkward middle school phase. I was taller than all the boys, had an odd style, and just to make matters worse I had cystic acne on my face, chest, and back. And middle school kids are honestly the worst, and people point that out. So, when I screw up or feel really awkward (which happens a lot) I joke on myself so others can’t.

I roast myself before others can, making me the — wait for it — the funny one.

Now that you are older you probably grew into your awkward middle school body, learned how to dress, and probably overall happier with yourself. I have too. Not saying I am the hot, trendy girl now but I am not totally unfortunate looking (@ElleWoods). I love myself, and I am very confident and sure of myself, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for improvement (and obviously I am still working on it considering I am still using gifs to lighten the mood).

I was sitting on my couch with my best friend recently, and we were talking about embarrassing things that we did or said that weekend and I started with my whole bit. I began to roast myself and saying how I was a big, dumb idiot. She stopped me mid roast and said why are hating on yourself so much?

I had never thought of this has hating, but I joke on myself so no else can because I am terrified of getting made fun of.

I used me being funny as a way to cover up me being nervous, me doing something odd, or feeling insecure. Not to say that I should stop making jokes all around and make light of a situation is always wrong, but I hide behind humor… a lot of the time. It is very easy for me to cope this way.

Being funny probably has been your security blanket because dealing with your issues is extremely difficult. Admitting that you are upset about something or bringing up an uncomfortable situation is a lot more exhausting and draining compared to say oh, I am just an idiot.

It also doesn’t help you making light of really awkward or sad situation, it only makes others laugh.

Most of my friends know I HATE feeling sad and I don’t really like to bother people with my problems. I usually tell a story, joke about how I messed up, and move on. I think it is time, for both of us, to stop hiding behind our humor and say how we really feel.

You aren't the same awkward girl you were when you were in middle school, get out of your head. Let down your guard and stop roasting yourself just because you can’t seem to bear your issues.