We all know THAT couple. You know, the couple that you look at and actively avoid being like in your own romantic relationships. Maybe it's because they're cringey, or maybe it's because they have so much drama that keeping the facts straight is tiring.
The couple that fights constantly but is overly lovey-dovey on social media and in public. The couple that acts like they are superior to every other couple because they post about how much they love one another all of the time. Maybe you've been a part of a couple like this before. I know personally that in my first relationship, I had no idea what I wanted, so I strove to be like all of the "perfect" couples on television and social media.
These things are normalized but extremely toxic behavior that I noticed in other couples and NEED to be stopped. If we as a society continue to normalize this behavior, then people will not understand that they deserve healthy relationships without these unnecessary boundaries.
Insisting your partner shows you their phone
GiphyWhy on earth is this considered normal???? Trust is one of the most, if not THE most, important factor in relationships, and doing this eliminates all trust. There are a million other HEALTHY ways to check in on your partner to see if they're deliberately doing something that is bothering you.
Ignoring them when you’re angry
GiphyIgnoring your partner when you're angry should never be your first resort in a fight. All this will do is cause tension and worsen the argument. Obviously, if you need a step back or some space, this is completely different. However, you should always be open with your partner about how you are feeling. If you cannot openly communicate with your partner and feel safe then your relationship needs some serious damage control. Ignoring them to make them feel bad about themselves and what they've done is emotional abuse.
Acting like your relationship is perfect
GiphyEvery relationship is messy and has flaws. Acting like your relationship is superior to others sets unrealistic expectations to people who have never been in relationships and enhances the societal ideal that relationships HAVE to be perfect. Your partner should not be expected to be perfect and neither should you.
Dictating where they go/how they dress
GiphyFor some reason, this isn't considered suppression but it TOTALLY IS. If you have to make changes to your partner's appearance, and cannot accept them for who they truly are, then maybe it is time to take a step back and rethink your relationship. This kind of goes hand-in-hand with the behavior of looking through your partner's phone, because it means that there is a lack of trust in the relationship. Being overly controlling of your partner isn't normal, and needs to stop immediately.
Making them choose you over their friends/family
GiphyIt is perfectly normal for couples to want to be spend a night out with their friends alone. Being a couple does not mean that you have to be together 24/7. It's actually super healthy to have lives outside of one another because it demonstrates healthy codependence. Codependence becomes unhealthy when you feel like your partner has an obligation to put you first above anyone else. Just because your partner doesn't want to spend every minute with you does not mean they do not love you.
Expecting them to pay for you all the time
GiphyA relationship is supposed to be an equal partnership. When you expect one person to be overly responsible for things like finances all of the time, this can put a strain on the relationship. Obviously, if your partner insists on paying then it is a completely different situation. Splitting checks or picking up the bill every once in a while shows that there is an equal partnership that is determined to work together to take responsibility for their actions together.