Let me start by saying that my step-daughter is the most beautiful human being I have ever laid eyes on. She really is one in a million and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.
As we get older, we are always told that you never truly know what love is until you have your own child. Even though my stepdaughter doesn’t have my genes, she truly is the biggest blessing in life.
Dating is a cruel world. It takes a long time to find out who they really are, who they want to be, and where this relationship will take you. You don't date just to have someone to cuddle with 24/7 or to go on little dates with for however long you decide. You date to create a relationship with someone that you will spend the rest of your life with. Who you decide to spend the rest of your life with is completely up to you but just remember that you aren’t just dating him/her, you’re dating whatever (or whoever) tags along with them. In my case, my boyfriend (now husband) had a daughter.
It was a true life changer. I, unfortunately, missed out on the first three years of her life and honestly, that's the part that makes me sad. I wish I could have been there to see her grow up to be the sassy, blonde haired, blue eyed, four-year-old girl she is today.
I appreciate her parents. I really do. Without her mom and my husband having their relationship, I would have never had the chance to meet this little girl. Is it challenging at times? Absolutely. Nothing in life is a breeze. But, you have to be thankful for what you have now. I will never be her biological mother, and I would never try to take that title, but I will always claim her.
Being a hairstylist, I get asked all the time “Do you have kids?” I always say yes! I tell them I have the most wonderful step-daughter in the world. I am so proud to take that title as step-mom. Then I get the change to step back and talk about the “I don't know” answer when I asked her what she did at school that day, hiding from her father with her in her pop-up 3x3 foot princess castle, coloring on the same page even though she has her own page right in front of her, and eating cookies way past her bedtime.
I wouldn’t trade these moments we have with her for anything. Our small little dysfunctional family may not be together all the time, but when we are, we make it work. And that’s what family is all about.
What I hope you take from this is that children (whether it be 1, 2, 6, etc.) are such a blessing in life. Once you have a child or step into a child's life, like I did, life isn’t just about you anymore. It changes from you to them because whether you know it or not, everything you do from here on out is for them. If you’re dating someone which a child, you better be ready to step up. If you’re not, do not spend your time getting to know this person or their children because you don't know what it does to the child when you just don't show up anymore.
I come from a divorced family. It can be hard at times when you just miss your family being together especially when the holidays are upon us. It’s time to remember how critical family is. Whether you are together or not, or get along or not. It’s time to make it work for just a few days.
