Soulmate.

When you see that word, what pops into your mind?

For many, it might be a cliche mental image of a perfect couple who live happily ever after.

For some, a specific person might come to mind: maybe a current love, maybe a lost love, or maybe, just maybe, a best friend.

And then there are those of us who hear "soulmate" and think of a best-friend-who-was-kind-of-also-a-lost-love-but-we-couldn't-label-it-as-love. Yeah. We're a special case. Really, it's fun.

Moral of the story: soulmates do not have to be lovers. This is something I have always considered to be true, but only recently decided to start taking seriously. Truthfully, I think convincing yourself that a soulmate has to be someone you fall for is kind of detrimental. There are so many people in this world, and I think in this case you could meet your soulmate, fall in love with them, and not end up being with them, and this is where the detrimental part comes in. When this takes place, it can genuinely feel like the sky is falling and landing on your shoulders. To think that you found your soulmate and lost them? Now THAT is heartbreak.

Oof. Big oof.

Most of us have probably been there, or at least I know I have. It is definitely frightening.

Truth is, though, I don't think we need to be confining ourselves to this traditional idea of a soulmate as someone we marry and ultimately stay with forever.

Instead, let me propose this definition to you:

Soulmate. noun. a person whose heart is recognized by our own, and with whom we are meant to grow old.

Let's explore this idea.

The concept of your heart understanding and recognizing someone else's is something that I don't quite know how to articulate in any other way. If you've felt this, you understand this. For me, I have been lucky enough to feel this way, and the only thing I can say to anyone who is reading this and feeling baffled is this: someday, this will happen to you, and when it does, you will know exactly what I mean when I say this. Your hearts will recognize each other. You'll see.

This doesn't have to be something exclusive to romantic relationships, and while I have felt it most strongly in romantic endeavors, that's not to say that I don't have incredible best friends with whom I experience the same feeling. The concept of two peoples' entire beings just understanding each other is something that I believe crosses all boundaries, regardless of whether your relationship with someone is romantic or platonic. I think best friends understand each other on the same level as significant others, and thusly, it makes just as much sense to believe in the possibility of finding a soulmate in the form of a best friend.

Now let's talk about the second part of my made-up definition. Growing old together. Have you ever considered the fact that you and your best friend(s) will be doing this just as much as you and your S.O.? WHY DON'T MORE PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THIS? I for one am constantly making jokes with someone who I have been best friends with for literally as long as I can remember (and I know she's reading this because she's awesome so hi honey) about how when we're old and in rocking chairs together in a nursing home, we are still going to be the life of the party. Let me tell you something: may God help whatever nursing home we end up in.

The fact of the matter is that you do not by any means need to keep yourself inside the box of romantic-soulmates-only. Throughout life, we all experience so many loves and losses. The majority of people specifically loves, are temporary, which sucks, especially when you really don't see it coming. Why dwell on the idea of soulmates only being romantic when you can believe that you already have your soulmate in the form of your best friend? Why get yourself worked up over the idea that you may have had your soulmate and lost them when you can look across the room at your best friend (who would never leave your side, mind you) and understand that you haven't actually lost anything at all? I don't know about you, but to me, this sounds like a much better, happier option.

Best-friend-soulmates are underrated, which is quite sad because we are powerful. Name a more iconic duo. You can't. I am so lucky and so grateful to have my two absolute best friends, and in both cases, we finish each other's sentences, we know what the other person is about to say before they say it, and we end up laugh-crying in any setting at any time. Even when we shouldn't, you'll still find us doubled over with tears running down our faces (if you're a fellow Ram, you've probably also seen this. sorry). It's like having a twin but without the actual blood relation part of it, essentially. At least I think so.

By and large, what I'm trying to say is this: soulmates don't have to be lovers.

And in fact, I'd like to think that they aren't.