Sometimes I Am Everything I Am Never Supposed To Be

In our society there is an overwhelming pressure to always be happy. From shelves bursting with self-help books to Pinterest boards loaded with inspirational quotes, we are constantly being told, “happy is everything and you should never settle for less.” That sounds lovely, but it’s suffocating.

The truth is, sometimes you lose yourself. Sometimes you don’t know who you are. Sometimes it’s for an hour. Sometimes it’s a day. Sometimes it’s a year. Sometimes life is hard for no reason. Sometimes when everything is okay, you’re just not.

We share our greatest moments on Facebook. We show off our best angles on Instagram. We are so obsessed with showing off the beauty we forget we must also feel the pain. We show the world everything that goes right, but are so afraid to admit when things go wrong.

Sometimes I am sad. Sometimes I am lonely. Sometimes I am jealous, angry, and selfish. Sometimes I am everything I am never supposed to be.

But just because I don’t want to smile today doesn’t mean I won’t be brilliant tomorrow. It is okay to not be okay. It is okay to admit today isn’t your day. It is okay to be lost. It is okay to let yourself feel all the things you were taught were “unhealthy.” Suppressing what you feel with a fake smile is not happiness, it’s harmful.

Let yourself be angry. Let yourself be lonely. Because life is no less beautiful when you’re sad. You are no less you when you’re low. Negative emotions do not mean you’re failing, they mean you’re human. They mean you’re alive. They mean you’re learning from your experiences. You’re growing.

You won’t know who you are overnight. You won’t solve all of your problems in a week. Don’t worry about “happy.” Just breathe.