Social Anxiety. You've probably heard of it, especially on social media. But the portrayal of social anxiety is very different from what it actually is. In the age where we can Google and WebMD everything, it has become a term that is tossed around, when in actuality, it is something very serious that affects the everyday lives of many. Including my own.
Social Anxiety is a fear towards social situations. It's is not just a brief period of shyness or not knowing what to say when in a new social situation. It is not something that is used as an excuse to get out of talking in class or attending social gatherings. It is more than just being "awkward" when meeting someone new or attending a party where you don't know anyone. More than likely, it's not attending that party so you don't put yourself in that situation.
Social Anxiety is living in constant fear of being criticized or laughed at in any given situation. It's being afraid to raise your hand in class for fear of being laughed at by stating your opinion or possibly giving the wrong answer. It's rehearsing your order at a restaurant so you don't look like an "idiot" in front of the waiter and still feeling embarrassed after you said it the way you wanted to. It's not wanting to eat because you feel like everyone is staring at you with every bite you take. It's being afraid to walk down the hall at school and not making eye contact with anyone you walk by. It's sometimes using music or looking at your phone to block everyone out and cope with the situation. It's thinking that the strangers you pass on the street are laughing at you, even though you know they aren't.
Social Anxiety is not something that goes away completely. It is something you take day by day. It is something that has its good days and its bad. It is something you can learn to cope with, something you can overcome, but it is still there.
Social Anxiety is not a trendy aesthetic. It is not something that should be romanticized on Tumblr blogs or hyperbole on Twitter. It is more serious than the blogs make it out to be, than the artsy Twitter and Tumblr accounts paint it. It isn't to be used for dramatic effect in a fanfic, unless it is done with the proper knowledge of what it is and what it does.
Social Anxiety is different for everyone it effects. Those who suffer from it have different triggers and situations that affect them. Those who suffer should not be compared to one another as it effects everyone differently. It is not something to be disregarded or pushed aside. It is not a phase or just being shy. It is real and it is a battle every day.
Social Anxiety does not define me. It is not my weakness, and I no longer allow it to control my life.
