Do you know what it's like...

To not be able to get out of bed?

To be sad all the time and not understand why?

To be someone you're not?

To put your feelings aside?

Do you know what it's like?


The doctor said I'm fine

No broken bones,

No diseases,

No illnesses

Nothing major

I'm fine


But I'm not

I'm not okay

But no one sees this

Because I smile


Smile

Always keep smiling

You have to keep smiling for them

For the fans

It's what they want, so

Smile


Sure, I've had a tough day

My grades are dropping

My friends are abandoning me

My parents are arguing

I guess it's no big deal, so I

Smile


I guess it's the new norm

I'm not eating

I'm not sleeping

I'm not feeling anything

Oh, I'm just being a teenager, so I'll just

Smile


I want to yell

Yell that it's not real

Yell that I'm suffering

Yell at the entire world

I want to yell, but I'll just

Smile


When should I stop smiling...

After I've appeased the masses?

After I've compromised myself for the hundredth time?

When is enough going to be enough?


My pain is real

I feel numb

I feel broken

I feel as if my heart is heavy

I feel that I need help


It's time to sit my parents down and have that heartfelt conversation

It's time to find friends that truly care about me

It's time to talk to someone about the way I feel

It's time to find a real reason to smile


I should do this

I can do this

I will do this

Next time you see me smiling

Just know that it's real

And know that I am here