The Muggles of Sports, our professors. They are the non-sport fans. The ones who just don't understand.
They don't understand why we tailgate or why we must watch every single game in the same t-shirt, on the same couch to protect the fragile, yet the mystical connection to the sports universe, also known as Juju. For further clarification, refer back to Robert Deniro in Silver Linings Playbook.
Sometimes those people, those non-sport fans, those muggles... sometimes they are your professors. They assign large projects that require weekend attention and they give tests on Mondays. If only there were some spell you could use...
The Eagles won their first Super Bowl title, a historical moment. Also very important... your first exam of the semester is on Thursday and you have a paper due.
Professors might ask "Why is this a conflict if the Super Bowl is over?"
"Because of the parade Karen. Jeez"
If you're planning on skipping school on Thursday, here are 12 brilliant excuses to use:
1. "I have the flu"
Stay relevant. Utilize this excuse if you haven't already.
2. "I locked your keys in my car and Triple-A won't be there in time for me to make it to class"
A last minute plan, but still a good one.
3. "My dog has a vet appointment"
Aka the Underdogs have a parade
4. " I got into a fender bender"
This one's kind of basic, use at your discretion.
5. "A funeral came up"
Tom Brady's downfall. Brandin Cooks injury. Maybe you're related by blood or marriage, or because we're all children of God. Valid excuses.
6. "There's a family emergency"
Papa Belichick may or may not have had a heart attack.
7. "There's snow on the ground, my car is stuck"
Punxsutawney Phil did say there was going to be six more weeks of winter.
8. "Prof, this is a once in a lifetime thing"
You could just be honest.
9. "I have a migraine"
Sensitivity to light and sound. Can't come to class, professor's voice is too annoying.
10. " I commute from Philly"
"I'm not sitting or driving in the traffic that goes in and/or out of the city."
11. "My neighbor had an emergency and they needed me to watch their young children, last minute until they got home"
You better hope it's not "bring your neighbor's baby to school day"
I'm using this one.