Single, Yes, But Not In The Mood To Mingle

Single, Yes, But Not In The Mood To Mingle

I don't know about you but I often feel like I was born in the wrong generation. I feel this way often when thinking about being in a relationship.


I was raised by an older parent who raised me like it was still 1975 (love you, Ma). Needless to say, I am the definition of old skool. I am known as the grandma amongst my friends. Mainly because I get little to none of the newer terminologies and if I do I sound like somebodies wanna be cool auntie saying it. I don't really have a problem with not fitting completely in with my generation. I always enjoyed the concept of being different and unique.

However, being single is a whole nother ball game. In this generation many people meet from parties are hanging out and as someone who does not feel comfortable in these situations, I don't really have many opportunities to meet a potential partner. Not to mention, I am very much so a bookworm and nerdy so I live in the library or my room, not really ideal for finding a partner. Unless you encounter someone so bold to walk up and say "Hi."

So, when it comes to getting wedding invites to high school classes, weddings and seeing them have kids, it does get a little difficult as I am still single nancy over here.


Some may say, "Well if it bothers you so much, why not take that risk, go out and try." I would say absolutely not, my momma told me to stand firm in what I believe in even if I changed my mind. Lol... Just kidding, I have tried going out but then there's that awkward hump to get comfortable. Everyone knows the latest dances and things and my favorite dance is still the wobble. I can imagine some people asking what is the wobble.

OK, maybe a little too old skool. My point is for those who are like me and don't feel like they necessarily "fit in" with this generation, dare to try. Just go out. It's gonna be uncomfortable as hell but it'll be worth it. If nothing you can add another experience to your bucket list. You never know what could come from it. Best part you can always run back home to a good book that story will be there when you get back.


But you know what it is also OK to be single. I have been for a while now and it's honestly the best, for me at least. Yes sure, it gets lonely every now and then especially with the holidays around the corner. However, I have always believed that one needs to spend some time with themselves and learn themselves before hopping into something with someone else. You wanna be able to have a happy and healthy relationship. I genuinely don't believe that can happen if you do not love and know yourself first.


Promise, that person will be there when they should be. In the meantime enjoy this alone time, love yourself. In the meantime, I'm right here with you.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.

They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

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I Am Not Anyone's Second Choice

I'm not just here as your last resort.


I always see those inspirational quotes/pictures going around on social media about how it's okay to cut toxic people out of your life. For the longest time, this wasn't something that I related to at all. I had my friends and I didn't have any problems.

But throughout my time in college, I've had people in my life that I realized only cared about me when it was convenient for them.

This has proved true in my relationships and friendships. I never really realized it until I started thinking more about it, but since I was younger, I've always been taken advantage of. Like I've said before, I have such a big heart and I always forgive people, even when they don't deserve it.

Most of the relationships I've been in, I came away feeling like I was just being used. I also had a friend that made me feel like that way as well. All of these people only reached out to me when everyone else wasn't available. They only reached out to me when they just didn't want to be alone, and they knew that I would text them back, hang out with them, be there for them.

It got to the point where these relationships all made me feel like I was just people's second choice. Like they didn't care about me unless they had no one else to hang out with.

But I'm not anyone else's second choice.

I've finally gotten to a point in my life where I've realized that I do have toxic people in my life. And I've finally come to the realization that I have to cut those kinds of people out.

I'm not the kind of person to say that I'm any better or any worse than those around me, but I definitely don't deserve to be taken advantage of or used. No one deserves that.

And I'm not going to be treated like that anymore because I'm not a second option. For anyone.

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