It's a harsh world anymore.
To the women whose child's father left or was cruel enough that you had to decide to do it on your own, I'd like to say that I'm right there with you. It's a hard but true fact that today's men just are not ready for a commitment. Don't get me wrong, there are still some out there that will love you through thick and thin but they are hard to find. So hard to find that women just settle for a lifestyle they wish not to live.
Just this year when my daughter was five months old, I decided I wasn't going to stay with someone who didn't want to make our lives his main priority. It took a while for me to make this decision. The thoughts of, "I have to make this work, he's her father!” and "Who else would be willing to come into my life to love my daughter the way a father should?", all came swarming through my head. After lots of thinking I told myself I had to do it so that my daughter would not grow up thinking that that kind of relationship is okay because her mother puts up with it.
After making that decision, whether it be yours or theirs, do not think for a second that you will never be good enough for anybody. Do not think that it was ever your fault! I went through a hard time thinking that something was wrong with me because we finally had it all. Trust me, I know this is the hardest thing to do in a situation that just metaphorically rips your heart out of your chest, but you need to remember to hold it together for your little one. The more you show you are sad, the more upset your child will be.
Single mothers are the strongest people I know, yet we get shunned for our lifestyles. "You don't spend enough time with your child, how do you think that makes them feel? You need to find yourself a good man!" That is one statement I always hated to hear. How do you think it makes me feel, knowing my daughter is at home missing me as much as I miss her? As far as a new man goes, that takes time. How do you truly know he is ready to pick up the pieces of a broken family without taking the time to see how things go?
There is always a double standard for us, and to that, I say, Ladies, as long as you think you are doing the right thing, do it! You know what you need to do more than anyone on this planet, and do not just settle for a new man or your child's father because others say it's how things should be.
