Having a child is a major life event. Even when you do prepare to have them, they up-end your life with bottle feeding times (or breastfeeding if you so choose), tantrums, and scheduling play dates—and don't even pretend you don't worry about those teenage years. It's not easy to raise them. When you're a single mother, it's even harder. Your parental role in your child's development consists of working enough to provide for them yet being involved enough so that they can function on their own eventually.
Typically, children emulate their parents. I love to say that I follow in my mom's footsteps. She is a hard-working, kind woman who always puts people's happiness before herself. When my parents separated when I was three and my dad moved back to Chicago, she then became two parents in one. She had to make up for my dad's absence. We often joke and call her Wonder Woman because she juggles a career and dating with three children. Due to her highly independent quality, I've determined for myself that I'm better off without men, much less my biological father.
Yet it wasn't always that way. Father's Day used to be a bitter day for me because I was reminded of the vacant hole my biological dad had left. I hated feeling bitter and alone, especially when I had a cushioned life because of my mom. Celebrating her instead allows me to celebrate womanhood and its intricacies. She should be celebrated on Father's Day along with fathers of all kinds because she has provided me with what a father would've been in my life—overwhelming strength and support.
We need to acknowledge that single mothers go above and beyond for their families more than their day in May. They try so hard by themselves to make sure their children are provided with both maternal and paternal support. Some date to find that healthy father figure for their children while others rely on family and friends for that same support. Some may remain single and hold themselves responsible for their child's upbringing. No matter what their decision is as a parent though, their role in their children's lives doesn't change.
Because one out of three children lives without a biological father at home in the United States, single moms are very commonplace. This statistical figure isn't meant to be an alarm; what I want to emphasize is that women are becoming more independent and self-sufficient so that they can provide for their children. The changing political climate isn't just about gender equality for us but wanting what's best for single moms and their children.
As the definition of gender is changing, so is that of the word "father." The term does not have to be exclusive to our biological fathers. It should include single moms who provide for their families; the uncles and grandfathers who watch young Silas while she is working; the divorced, widowed, gay, adoptive, and step-fathers who wish to be involved in a child's life. With this new definition on gender and father comes a new conversation about the changing role and attitude of men in American society.
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- The Single Mom Life ›
- Being The Only Child Of A Single Parent ›
- 4 Things Being Raised By A Single Mother Has Taught Me ›
- Single Mothers Deserve A Father's Day ›
- To The Single Mom ›
- The Letter Of Encouragement Single Mothers Everywhere Deserve ›
- 11 Qualities All Girls Raised By A Single Mother Share ›
- Single Mothers Are the World's Best Heroes ›