I'm As Single As A Dollar Bill And Perfectly Fine With It

I'm As single as a dollar bill and perfectly fine with it

There is no rush to be in a relationship, and it's no big deal how long you stay single.

Malachi White
Malachi White Jul 18, 2018
260
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One of the most frustrating things about being a young adult is the unnecessary pressure to date and be in a relationship. Everyone has had their parents ask if there is a new guy or girl that they're talking to, or more embarrassingly, being asked by your parents in public if you think someone you've met (or interacted with for 2 seconds) is attractive. Don't get me wrong, I have played third wheel long enough to know how lonely it can get sometimes. Everyone is always posting and talking about "goals" with heart eyes, and the perfect dates and the cutest Instagram pictures.

It's natural for people to relate being in a relationship as something happy, whereas it is also natural for people to relate being single as something more negative. I think it is important for people to know that it is okay to be single. There's always that overwhelming feeling that sometimes you want someone to lean on and call your own outside of your family, and other days being single rocks.

Our culture has also made being in a relationship associate with maturity. If you can stay and maintain a relationship as a young person, then you are somehow much farther in life than the person who is single you're sitting next to right now. It's often implied by many of the conversations I have had with parents talking about there kids and their significant others. Granted being in a relationship, especially a good and healthy relationship, does take a lot of maturity from both parties. However, I would argue that a persons desire to pursue a relationship does not measure my maturity and ability to commit, nor does it mean they will be single forever.

People can be happy with being single, and still want a relationship.

Most people who are content with being single would also love to be in a relationship, it's just not something they NEED. I personally don't feel like I need to be in a relationship right now, but I also sure wouldn't mind loving someone with every ounce of my being. If that girl were to come along, I'd have no reason not to dive into that relationship

Frankly, as an extravert, I realized that sometimes I'm not desiring a relationship but more so the company of other people and human interaction. There are people out there who just enjoy being single. There are also those people who have tried to make something happen and it just isn't there time or they haven't met the right person for them (and no, there is nothing wrong with being picky).

In my circle of friends I'm fortunate to not have to worry about being shamed for being single, or not being sexually active. However, there are people out there who are and that is dangerous. From my own experience having those kinds of pressures amplified self-consciousness, affected my self-esteem, and plainly just made me feel uncomfortable in my own skin because of the feeling of not being good enough. I'm here to say that even if you are an individual facing that today, guess what? Just be you. If you want to be single for the rest of your life, live your life my friend. If you're waiting and saving yourself for that perfect someone, I salute you. If you're struggling with the dating scene, you have a whole life to live to let that be at the top of your priority list.

While being single there's no pressure to be on anyone else's timeline but your own. You can take me time whenever you want without worrying about what another individual is doing, and most importantly you don't have to share YOUR food with anybody, I really mean nobody. Make the best out of the time you have to yourself to build yourself as an individual, because it will pay out in the long run.

Moral of the story to all my single folks. I am happily single while open to the idea of a relationship. If you're nobody's "type", or have been rejected too many times and are kind of over it, or just really happy being single, all of those things are perfectly o.k. There is no time limit to fall in love, there's no real rush to start a family, and you should care for yourself first!

Cover Image Credit:

Personal Photo

Malachi White
Malachi White Jul 18, 2018
At Butler University

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To The Sweet Girl With A Broken Heart

Words of wisdom for every girl...

Skylar Lacey
Skylar Lacey May 20, 2019
6382
views

To the sweet girl with a broken heart,

Do you feel like you're stuck in this hole, six feet under, with absolutely no way to get out? You are not alone, and I promise you there is a ladder just waiting for you to climb it. I know your heart feels like it's been shot, and your gut feels like it's been punched one hundred times.

This feeling is just temporary, and I can tell you that because I've experienced it first hand. I know you feel alone, and like you're the only person who has ever felt this much heartache. I can promise you that you are never alone, and there are so many girls that can relate to you in ways you never thought possible. Don't let one guy dictate your way of life. Don't let one guy dull your sparkle.

Don't let one guy change your heart, or your remarkable personality. Sounds really silly when you read it back doesn't it? All of this hurt, tears, and confusion over one guy! Don't get me wrong, I know that this one guy was your world, you truly thought he was going to be in your life forever.

Up until this point, you didn't see a life without him in it. Girlfriend, look at yourself in the mirror. You are doing this whole breakup thing all on your own, and you're doing a great job at it. You picked up the pieces, and are carrying on all by yourself. You have been through the most extreme roller coaster of emotions, and you road it solo.

That says something, something really special. That says that you are stronger than you ever thought you were. Realize that! This is God's plan for you, to show you just how amazing you are. That you can conquer all things, and handle them in the most graceful way possible.

You are special. You are beautiful. You are unique. You are you! And that's one hell of a thing to be because you are the only you on this planet!

Lift your chin up, hold your head high, and show the world exactly who you are. Never change for anybody. Ever! Heck, get back to that girl you were before him. Strong, independent, confident, selfish. I know the word selfish seems so, well, selfish. But It's okay to be selfish sometimes, especially when it comes to defending your own heart.

Take that vacation, dress up just because, do your makeup and take selfies just because you want to, go to the gym, get that tan, go to that party, spend time with your greatest friends, hug your mom!

Do all of these things carelessly, do them because you deserve it, and because you can! And at first you may be doing them as a distraction from all that you've been through, but soon enough you'll find that you're doing them not because you need to, but because you want to!

Simply because this really is the new and improved you. Learn from this pain. Learn to love yourself again without him, without constantly feeling like you need to be reminded by him that you are loved. Instead, love yourself and I assure you when other people see that, they'll love you even more.

Girls, when we love someone, we love deeply, we love wholeheartedly, and that person never has to question our love for them. You deserve that same exact love in return. There are plenty of other guys out there just waiting to take care of your heart, and love you unconditionally. You deserve nothing but that!

Do not stop until you find that guy. You can change the world just by being a kind hearted human being. Don't get revenge, don't force yourself to move on as quickly as he did, don't torture yourself with remembering "the old him," and definitely don't change. I know it's hard to see him changing in the worst way, to the point where you don't even recognize him anymore. To the point where he feels like a complete stranger to you.

Do not stoop to his level. Trust me, one day, he will look back on his life and probably regret losing you. Of course, I know all you're wishing is that he'd be able to see that right now, but that just isn't God's plan. Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself the time to grieve, and hurt, and be upset.

Those are all good things.

That is what is going to allow you to heal, and move on to become a better, stronger, happier, and more mature you! I promise you, that a year from now all that you're stressing about will not mean a thing. This is our one and only chance at life, we can not let one person take away all the happiness that we deserve.

The right guy will never leave, even when times get tough he will always fight for you. I saw something on twitter that said, "take sex away and you'll come to realize that not many individuals have much to offer. This generation is so pressed for the physicality that ya'll forget mentality creates the bond and forms longevity."

That hit extremely close to home for me and is something that everyone needs to remember.

Fall in love with somebody's heart, mind, and soul. Go beyond their looks, go beyond the attraction, dig deeper. Don't be that shallow girl, who doesn't know how to love the right way. You are so much better than that. To every single broken hearted girl, I am so proud of you! I am always here for you, you have so much love and support. I've realized that myself. As I write this, I feel relief, no longer sad or dwelling on the past. What is coming is always better than what is gone. Now get that beautiful smile back on your face because you are too pretty to be sad.

P.S. To the "other girl" (if there is one).

How dare you take him away from me? You knew exactly what you were doing. You knew my whole heart was on the line. Women need to start respecting other women. Think before you act. Would you want to be in my position? I sure as hell hope not, and now that you have him I hope you're thinking about how you hurt me. And if you're not, then you have a lot to learn about life hunny.

It's kinda weird because I can't hate either of you. Simply because I want nothing but the best for him. It's crazy how someone can break your heart into a million pieces, but you still have such a special place in your shattered heart for them. Besides that, take good care of him. I hope he can learn from you, and love you in all the ways he couldn't love me or any of his other ex's. Every relationship is a lesson, and there is always something to learn. So thank you for teaching me mine.

P.S- To "the guy who did this" Imagine you have a daughter someday, and some boy breaks her heart the way you did mine. I hope you think back to this, and remember me. Maybe by that time, you'll feel sorry.

Skylar Lacey
Skylar Lacey May 20, 2019

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The 7 Stages Of A Breakup, As Told By Netflix's 'Someone Great'

Alexa play "Truth Hurts" by Lizzo, and max volume, please.

giannanemcovic
giannanemcovic May 22, 2019
188
views

We all know how it feels to get your heart broken by a guy. Whether it be in your teens or in your 30s, everyone experiences it, or already has. After watching the movie “Someone Great" on Netflix, it hit me deep in my feels. If you haven't seen it yet, check it out. It made me realize all of the stages of going through a rough breakup, and I could not relate to a movie more.

1. When you first breakup and will cry about it to just about anyone

We all know that we do this almost immediately after a break-up. You are just trying to get out of the house so you go to the store, something reminds you of our ex, and next thing you know, you're talking the stranger's ear off in the grocery store for the next 2 hours.

2. When your friends call you and you say you're fine but you really haven't moved from your couch in two days and all you have done is eat two gallons of ice cream and watch "The Notebook" on repeat

"Just come do something with us, or let us come there."

"Nah, I'm okay, I actually have a super busy day today."

Yeah, if you mean busy as in binge-watching every episode of "Pretty Little Liars," then yeah, count me out of all plans so I can rewatch every episode for the next 3 weeks. We all know that feeling of not wanting to move out of bed for as long as you can after a break-up.

3. When that ONE song comes on at the mall, and you suddenly realize it was "your" song

This one hits differently. You're literally just minding your own business, trying to treat yourself to a little bit of a wardrobe change because of how sad you have been all week and BAM, it hits you like a train. Next thing you know you're crying in the dressing room of Forever 21 wondering where it all went wrong.

4. Finally caving in and hanging with your friends, realizing that this is what you needed all along

You never want to leave your bed after a breakup, you seem to cancel or bail out on every plan you try to make, then finally, after you have run out of tears, you actually follow through with a girl's night, and then you suddenly realize that all along, just time spent with the gals is what you needed. Trust me, been there, done that. In most cases, a dance party is also well needed.

5. The morning after your girl’s night, you realize that having these gals is better than the boy 

Having your girls there for you in such a tough time actually helps so much. It helps save the tears, the constant replaying of memories in your head, and saves you the time you could be wasting if you're sinking into a deep sadness over something so dumb. That support system is vital for post-breakup, and even I know that.

6. You let him go one last time

Whether it be writing a letter, throwing away all your old memories with him, or by finally getting all your clothes back from his place that have piled up over the past few months or years. It is a truly bittersweet feeling and might even hurt a little, but it's time. You're going to thrive without him.

7. You truly know how much better you’re doing without him

You have reached the point of no return. You’re finally thriving without him. You’re never going back, and you know how much potential your life has and how much better you are without him. Your heart is whole again.

giannanemcovic
giannanemcovic May 22, 2019
At University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign

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