There comes a point in our lives where we are so busy with work, classes, friends or pretty much anything that exists under the sun and that it leads to you to put your love life in the backseat. You haven't really bothered in a while and suddenly one day it really hits you: Holy crap, you have been single for a while now. Do you even remember what boys are?
So, in honor of cuffing season being right around the corner, here are 10 signs you've been single for a while
1. You have forgotten how to speak when a cute boy is around.
A cute boy walks up to you and tries to start talking to you. You either:
a) Realize your brain no longer knows hows to tell your mouth to move "
b) Find that sounds coming out of your mouth sound similar to those of a dying walrus.
c) Forget how to make any sound and probably have drool coming out of your mouth.
You've pretty much lost all forms of chill.
2. The last time someone hit on you... you thought they lost a bet.
But then you realized it wasn't ant got WAY too excited. Wait, is this really happening? Who paid him? He's still talking to me. MAYBE HE ACTUALLY LIKES ME. He's cute. We'd make cute kids. No, no kids yet. First I have to pick the wedding location. HE JUST SAID I HAD A CUTE SMILE. Keep smiling. No, stop smiling, you look creepy now. EEEeeeePPpp HE'S SO HOT.
3. You've started accepting your very possible future as a crazy cat lady.
Clearly, this whole relationship thing is too hard, so time to start naming my future cats.
4. You seem to have forgotten how to kiss someone.
Kissing is one of those things that you never really can forget. Once you've done it a couple of times, you've got the hang of it--similar to learning how to ride a bike, you never actually forget how. But sometimes, when you've been single for a little too long, you start to question whether you're still capable of planting one and smooching the mirror seems to make sure you still remember sounds like a fantastic option.
5. Your leg hair could probably put Sasquatch's legs to shame.
At this point, you may not even remember what it feels like to have smooth legs. Honestly, you may not even remember what a razor looks like.
6. Your friends' love lives and sex lives are your life-savers.
The phrase "I am vicariously living through you." holds an unhealthy level of truth. You might as well be demanding a 10-page essay about every single one of their dates--with footnotes. Especially what happened when they got back home because god dammit you haven't gotten laid in a while so it is your best friend's duty to dish out every single vivid detail.
7. You're honestly questioning why you're even on birth control or keep a stash of condoms.
You're paying $30 a month for a pill that obviously isn't serving its purpose. And those tiny little foil packets seem to be mocking you every time you open up the drawer in your nightstand.
8. Friday nights are reserved for Netflix & Pizza (and maybe a bottle of wine).
While all your friends are busy being whisked away on sickeningly romantic dates (that you are secretly jealous of), you're too busy watching shows on Netflix that you would never admit to. Your only steady date seems to be the pizza guy who shows up at 8:00 on the dot because, let's be honest, the pizza place probably keeps your order ready at this point.
9. You can recite all the lines in every single Rom-Com movie released in the past few decades.
Don't even try to start denying it. I can assure you that your suggested queue on Netflix is filled with titles akin to The Notebook, 13 Going on 30, Dear John and Titanic.
10. You've started to reconsider every guy that you've been with over the years.
I understand we broke up because every little thing he did had started to piss me off, but maybe he's changed? People have to grow up and become mature. Maybe he's not going to drive me absolutely crazy. He must have grown into a fine young gentleman by now. Right??? RIGHT???
And then you gotta remind yourself that you have standards now. No, you cannot text him. No, not even for a booty call.
Just go down another glass of wine and rewatch Noah declare his undying love for Allie.