Let's take a trip back in time. It's autumn of 2014 and school is just beginning. You're starting school three hours away from home, not knowing anyone except your sister, (hi Megan), and well, you're frightened. Your roommate seems pretty awesome and your suitemates seem fly, but something isn't right.
It's not the fact that you're not used to being so far from home for so long, even though I did end up getting homesick the first two weeks, but we won't talk about that. It's not the fact that your best friend is still in high school and you won't get to see her everyday like you are used to.
So what is it? Let me give you a back story to tell you how I am where I am today.
When I started college, I was afraid. I felt alone because my sister had her friends and she didn't want her little sister hanging around. She's a senior, I'm a freshman. It was like high school all over again. I thought I was so ready to leave home and come to college. BOY WAS I WRONG. (And yes, I did have second thoughts after seeing all of my stuff in the back of my mom's car. I wanted to take it all out and she told me now, so that's how I ended up in Warrensburg. Because mom said so.)
I made friends, sure. But they would never be like the ones from home; the ones I grew up with for so long. But then I met this guy Stefan, and he was really good friends with my suite mates, Erin and Cori.
Through them, I met Devon. Apparently, the first time I met him I was crying because I was scared about my mom's surgery. (And I mean who wouldn't be. Then again, I don't remember this so blame Devon if it's wrong.)
So yadda-yadda-yadda, a year goes on. Devon and I started to hang out a lot. We realized we had a lot in common, especially taste in music and stargazing. (Because who doesn't love stargazing?) And that's how it went from there. At this time I was "with" someone (I don't even know what to call it), and this last February (so this year, keep up), I was really hurt by this guy (we'll call him 'X').
X became a real asshole and just decided to blow me off out of the blue. Okay cool. I'm a big girl, I'm tough. But I'm also a delicate flower and ended up breaking down crying after a really shitty night. So I told Devon about this and he was there for me. This cycle happens a few more times and Devon is still the one who is always there for me. The last time this happened, he was upset about it too. I asked him why.
"I don't like seeing you hurt. You are with these guys that treat you like you're nothing so why are you with them?"
(Deep, huh?)
That made me think. A lot. Hard. Overthinking became a side-effect of this, along with a lot of anxiety (though I already had this).
One night I went and met his dad and we were talking. His dad gave me insight about something that apparently I've been oblivious to for these past three years. I find out that Devon is in love with me and has been for a while. So we talked about it. After thinking about it I was in love with him too, I just didn't want to admit it at first. I was scared, so after thinking long and hard I came to the realization that I was with these assholes because I didn't think I deserved anything better. (GIRLS, DO NOT EVER THINK YOU DESERVE LESS THAN WHAT YOU ARE. YOU ARE A MERMAID AND YOU DESERVE A MAN TO WALK OCEANS FOR YOU AND TO SEA YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE.)
So Devon and I started dating, and I'm genuinely happy for the first time I have ever been with someone. He is always there for me no matter what he is doing and he will always drop what he is doing when I need him.
This past September, he chose me to be with him forever (literally chose, Pokeball and all), and I said yes to the most amazing guy ever. I ask myself every day how I ended up this lucky. This is something I wouldn't change for the world.
I love you, Devon, forever and always.
