I looked at my calendar this morning and the realization that we are going to be at a full year of self-isolation caused me to wonder, Am I alone in feeling this has been one of the hardest years of my life? Now, I am not saying that there haven't been other incidents in my life that have not shaken my core. But for some reason, this year is a milestone more different than the self-isolation I put myself through after my husband died.

So, I asked a few other single women in my small circle of friends. They also agreed, it has been a bit of a struggle to deal with the loneliness and isolation that society thrust upon us with little to no notice. Let me make myself clear, I do understand everyone in the world is dealing with some sort of depression, anxiety, frustration, and at times possible alcohol abuse, but as a single woman living in a one-bedroom apartment and working from home the lack of social interacting can be deafening.

Then how did or do we cope? What keeps us from not opening the window of our apartments and either screaming our lungs out or just jumping? I understand this is not forever, or at least I want to believe it isn't. For many living in the moment, it can be a cruel bitch to deal with. Besides, it's disheartening when non-single friends start giving advice.

For example, if you have coupled friends that are on the go and then they invite you to join them, and you graciously decline, only to hear these words come out of their mouth, "You still have to enjoy life." Yes, I get it. You feel safer because you have a partner to look after you, care for you, protect you. But when I am feeling sick or down, I am the only one that can pick myself up and take myself to the hospital or find the next remedy to get me out of my funk. I know you are only offering help, but that isn't how many of us hear it. Try to look at this from our side, we wake up alone, work alone, eat our meals alone, exercise alone, watch television alone, and at the end of the day close our eyes alone. Not that I want a partner just for the sake of not being alone, I want everyone else to understand being alone is a choice, being isolated is not.

Maybe that glass of wine you started drinking every night last April is now turning into a half bottle or bottle of wine. That isn't the answer and sweetheart, put down the glass and find a different coping mechanism. Many of us have found exercise to be a blessing, those quiet moments working your body and letting those healthy endorphins run amuck is all you hoped it could be. Sadly, those endorphins evaporate as quickly as they emerged, and anxiety is inevitable once you get out of the shower.

Online shopping is also a fun way to please the need, but once you have all the necessities for survival in your home it all becomes junk and you end up either trying to return it or donating it when Amazon tells you to keep it. They didn't want it either and as long as it is not taking up space in one of their warehouses they don't care what you do with it. No reason to shop for work attire, especially if you don't have to see the people on zoom every day. I can't remember the last time I bought a pair of dress shoes or even a new Michael Kors bag. I have a closet full of clothes that have not left the hanger for almost a year.

Then there is the need for a good haircut and color. What I would not give if my hairstylist was considered an essential worker and had been vaccinated last December. I am now coloring my hair and hating every minute of it. I believe Truvy the Dolly Parton's character in Steel Magnolia's when she said and I quote, "I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I don't think it's natural." But here I am trying every color in the Madison Reed color wheel to make it look as natural as possible and it isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Let's not forget the much-needed manicures and pedicures that we took for granted over the years. My days of sitting on a massage chair and putting my feet in the warm bath of bubbles are just a fleeting memory. I don't even try to put a polish on them, why bother, nobody is looking at them but me. Someday soon I will enjoy the afterglow of a long day at the nail salon having my whole body pampered like I was a goddess. But until then I wear socks on my feet and trim my fingernails like a grown-up.

I think for most of us single people the idea that we can't just go out to a restaurant and meet up with friends for dinner or drinks is a bridge too far. The social interaction of being with friends and talking about anything but COVID or politics is now more fantasy than reality. It's human nature to want to hold someone's hand or to give and receive that warm welcoming hug. Physical tenderness is a thing of the past, to be kissed again is now on my bucket list.

Can we get back to some kind of normal? Like I said in many of my other articles, wearing a mask is not the problem, being alone 24/7 is the problem. Please society let's take the shot when it is your turn, so we can go out and have some shots.