At graduation two years ago, I never thought I would see so many of my classmates getting married or having children two years out of high school. It was only 24 months ago that we were still asking permission to use the restroom and rushing home to our parents' house to make our midnight curfew. Now some of us are testing wedding cake flavors and thinking of baby names. We are all growing up more quickly than I ever imagined.
For a lot of people, seeing a considerable amount of your classmates settling down so quickly can induce a bit of a panic. Some may feel as if they're behind, or that they need to rush into building their family. Some of my friends have even downloaded dating apps to begin the husband search. Although I definitely want to spend my life with someone, and even have kids, I look at the engagement and pregnancy announcements that are plastered on Facebook and not one bit of jealousy runs through me. Not every person is meant to hold so much responsibility at the age of 20. Some of us, including me, are meant for other purposes.
As a 20-year-old, I have never considered this next decade of my life as the one that I will settle down in. I envision ages 20 to 29 will be spent traveling, focusing on my career and meeting new people. I look forward to taking trips with friends and discussing our busy and ever changing lives over wine. I always take in consideration what magazine I will eventually want to write for. I envision meeting (not marrying) the person I am meant to be with.
I want to spend these years figuring myself out. I want to make sure I get to live out all my dreams before devoting my time and my heart to a family. I want to make sure that I am the best version of myself before allowing someone to call me their wife. How am I supposed to be Mom to a house full of kids without feeling as if I deserve the title? As of now, I can barely make a grilled cheese without burning at least one side. I have so many more things to do and learn. I want to establish myself as a writer. I want to travel the country and even the world so I can gain more compassion for others that I can pass to my kids. In addition to that, I have so much more heartbreak and pain to go through before someone comes into my life to show me that it was all worth it.
Recently, I had a conversation with one of my childhood friends, Kassie, who is now married and has a growing family. We are both 20, but our lives couldn't be more different. She's a full time mother and wife, while I'm a full time student. She loves her kids and her husband, but when I asked her what it's like being a wife and mother at 20, she told me that it's hard for her sometimes because even though she has always wanted to settle down at a young age, there is still so much she didn't get to accomplish.
Kassie said, "I can't just think about myself anymore. I have my child and husband to think about now. Going to college is hard, working is hard, hanging out with friends is hard, no one wants to take you serious."
Although being a wife and mom is probably one of the most rewarding experiences one can have, not everyone is supposed to experience that at such a young age. Some of us are meant to write groundbreaking magazine articles or run political campaigns. Some of us have a little more growing to do.
At 20, there is no way I have reached my final form, and I look forward to seeing how the next nine or so years mold me. Of course, I know that no one can predict the future, and who knows. Maybe I will be on the road to family life sooner than I want to be. It's all about bending and embracing life as it's hurled at you. For those of you who believe that they're running out of time to start a family, relax. Be patient. Everything will happen in due time. For now, work toward being the best "you" you can be. To those of you who are young wives, mothers -- or both -- keep up the amazing work. I have the utmost respect and admiration for you.
