Chicago is a pretty famous city. Everyone who is anyone knows what that metallic bean shape sculpture is and has asked you if you've seen it up close (the answer is yes). From Lake Michigan to Lollapalooza, from Michigan Avenue to Lincoln Park Zoo, and from the Macy's store to the Art Museum, Chicago has rightfully earned it's place on the map among all of the hundreds of miles of cornfields that surround it. And then there are the suburbs. You've got your South Side, your North Shore, and... your Western Suburbs. Filled with great shopping centers, miles and miles of chain restaurants, and not much claim to fame, these towns inhabit 95% of the people you meet who say they're from "Chicago." And here are the signs that's where you're from...
1. You've been to the Chicago Shakespeare Theater more times than you would like to admit.
It's as if the only option for school field trips was to this place. But, hey, at least you've seen Midsummer Night's Dream enough times to recite it by heart.
2. Every time you go to the city you take a "bean pic" to be try to make fun of the tourists but you're actually pretty psyched about it.
"Guys we need to take a group picture at the bean and post it on Instagram with a witty caption about being touristy in our own city!!!"
3. You went to Navy Pier as a child religiously and were heartbroken when you matured and realized it's not that exciting.
There's a McDonald's, a Ferris Wheel, and well... that's about it.
4. Your town has more coffee shops than schools.
Which is saying a lot since every town has multiple elementary, middle, and high schools. But coffee shops, coffee shops with ice cream, coffee shops with chocolate, espresso bars, you name it, we have it.
5. Your jogs outside take place on a bike path next to the gross, kinda smelly Fox River.
I'm pretty sure rivers shouldn't be this brown.
6. Your high school mascot was something lame or offensive.
Vikings, Saints, Redhawks, Black Hawks... why are the majority of them based off of humans instead of animals?
7. It was a rite of passage to reach the age where you could take the Metra into the city without adult supervision.
You felt so adult, until you had to flash your middle school ID to buy your ticket.
8. Your idea of "Chicago" style food is Portillo's.
But let's face it... It's just as authentic as Pizzeria Uno's.
9. You fly out of Midway instead of O'Hare because it's slightly closer and much easier to manage.
Everyone tries to relate to you about their layovers in O'Hare but really you avoid it like the plague.
10. Your prom was somewhere in the city.
There's nothing like getting all dressed up in uncomfortable, sequin dresses and then having to sit on a bus for an hour.
11. And you visited the city for most major holidays to pretend like you were a true city resident.
St. Patrick's Day for the green river, Thanksgiving for the German market, Christmas for the Macy's windows, the Blackhawks parade every time they win the Stanley Cup (it's a holiday... don't worry about it).
12. The day Lollapalooza tickets are released is a recognized holiday in your high school.
And then there are the kids whose parents let them miss school just so they would have a better chance of getting them...
13. Your household had more than one American Girl doll and you definitely attended tea at the restaurant.
And you had a slight heart attack when they moved buildings because you were convinced it wouldn't be the same (you were right).
14. You have a resentment against everyone from the North Shore.
Because the stereotype is that they're entitled and superficial. But truth is, we are too but we're just bitter they're closer to the city.
15. When you're not in the mood to travel all the way to the city, you settle for Naperville.
There are places to shop and plenty of restaurants, so at least you can still dress up and pretend.
16. You know too many girls who are self-proclaimed "City Girls" in their social media bios.
You live two minutes from a cornfield, honey. And you always have.
17. You have a stronger accent than actual city folk.
No one from Chicago calls it "ChicAAAAAAgo."
And finally...
18. You just tell everyone you're from Chicago because it's no use trying to explain where you're actually from.
