All around the country, anxious hearts and minds await the start of the 2017 college football season. Throughout the year, college football fanatics (myself included) are able to distract ourselves with college basketball, the NBA playoffs, and perhaps the occasional baseball game (see Sign #3). But by the time July rolls around, we are painstakingly aware of the void in our lives without college football. Listed below are eight surefire signs that you are experiencing serious college football withdrawals.
1. You check your team’s schedule every week.
At some point during each week, you inexplicably find yourself looking up your team’s schedule. Even though you’ve had it memorized for months, you still feel the urge to look it up just in case you forgot a game. Better to be safe and just make sure, right?
2. ESPN is suddenly no longer entertaining.
Throughout the fall, you catch yourself constantly watching SportsCenter to catch up on the latest college football news and upset predictions. ESPN is your go-to-channel. But in the summer when sports news revolves around baseball game highlights and NBA trades, you discover that ESPN is not so interesting after all. I know, shocking.
3. You’ve actually tried to watch an entire baseball game on TV.
Now, I’m all for attending baseball games in person. It’s a fun social outing and an opportunity to enjoy America’s national pastime. But watching nine innings of a meaningless regular season baseball game on TV…that’s about as interesting as a PBS documentary on the history of concrete.
4. You work college football into every conversation.
Waiter: “What do you want, sir?”
Me: “I want a 12 win season, an SEC Championship, a win over Florida...”
Waiter: “What do you want TO EAT?”
Me: “Ohhhh I’m so sorry, turkey club please.”
5. You’ve memorized your team’s depth chart.
Who is your team’s third-string middle linebacker? If you know the answer to that question, it’s safe to say that you’re experiencing heavy college football withdrawals.
6. You know exactly how many days are left until the opening kickoff.
Like a kid awaiting Christmas, you are closely counting down the days remaining until the first game of the season. Heck, you probably know how much time is left down to the very hour and minute.
7. You’ve checked the weather for the first game of the season.
This one is obviously a joke. If you’ve actually done this, please seek professional help. Immediately.
8. Saturdays have turned into SAD-urdays.
You wake up on Saturday morning and long for the days spent tailgating and watching college football from noon until midnight. But for now, you have to be content with actually DOING stuff on Saturdays. Downright depressing isn’t it?
