Everyone remembers their first boyfriend/girlfriend. Whether it was five years ago or 50 years ago, a first love, no matter how good or bad the breakup was, is never forgotten. However, a first love is just that; it's a first. We learn from them, grow from them, and hopefully take away some good life lessons from them.
Whether you've had one love in your lifetime, many loves, or no true loves at all, there are certain things you should NEVER settle for when looking for love. No matter what kind of love you're trying to find, you should never settle for someone who:
1. Treats their parents poorly.
You know the saying, "Watch the way a man treats his mother; odds are that's how he'll treat you." Of course, there are circumstantial situations; but odds are if you don't like the vibe you get from his relationship with his parents, you're not gonna like the way he treats you either.
2. Doesn't share your values.
He doesn't have to 100% agree with everything you say; in fact, it would be weird if he did. But, for example, if he voted for the Cheeto puff in last years election and still supports him to this day and the thought of that sickens you as much as it does me, he probably ain't the one for you.
3. Won't compromise.
Compromise is a healthy part of every type of relationship. If he wants everything to be his way all the time, maybe he needs to grow up before you should invest your time and emotions.
4. Doesn't respect your morals.
If you have a certain moral character that he doesn't respect, walk away. No man is worth losing who you are as a person.
5. Easily becomes jealous.
Sure it's cute when a guy acts a tad bit jealous when you're out with your friends for a night instead of with him. What's not cute is having your boyfriend wonder where you are every second of every day and getting angry when you don't talk to him 24/7. Miss me with that shit.
6. Forgets about things that matter to you.
No-one can remember every single detail of your life, but when you're in a relationship, y'all should respect and care about each other's interests.
7. Your friends don't like.
I can't stress this enough. No, your friends aren't dating the man, but honestly, they can see right through to his little games while you're blinded by love. Yes, they're annoying, but you should listen to them.
8. Dismisses your accomplishments.
If you get a promotion at work, you should be celebrated. If you excel at something you've been working really hard towards, you should be celebrated. You deserve to be treasured, especially when you accomplish something. If he doesn't see that, walk away.
9. Lacks motivation.
Don't get me wrong, I love a good lazy day as much as the next person. But if they clearly are not motivated to do anything with their life and you are, y'all will NEVER be on the same wavelength.
10. Controls you.
While there are certain things you cannot do in a relationship that you can do while you're single, you don't deserve to be controlled by anyone. Unless it's important, what you're doing and who you decide to do it with is no one's business but your own.
11. Doesn't keep their word.
If they say they're gonna clean the dishes and they forget, it isn't the end of the world. If they continue to give you empty promises, you deserve better.
12. Isn't intellectually equal to you.
This isn't to discredit uneducated people, and it isn't to boast about those who are blessed to have an education. However, it's really hard to share life with someone who is not equally yoked with yourself in all aspects, especially mentally.
13. Lies.
This should be obvious, but so often we are blinded by how good they look, how nice they are, etc., that we push away their tiny little lies. If they tell you small lies now, they'll just get bigger and bigger. Don't walk away from this one honey, run.
14. Isn't good with money.
We all spend more than we should, that's just human nature. But if they have issues with stealing money/items or scamming others, they'll do it to you too. This is literally a mental illness, and it isn't up to you to help fix them. Just walk away.
15. Is toxic to you.
Here are some signs of a toxic person: someone who spreads negativity, is jealous, plays the victim, is self-centered, always causes drama, and isn't interested in changing. If that sounds like your significant other, girl, LEAVE.
16. Is abusive.
Physical abuse is easy to spot but hard to get away from. Emotional and verbal abuse is less likely to be seen by others but doesn't mean you deserve it in any way. If someone is abusing you, leave. Do not look back. You won't regret it.
Relationships aren't a one-way street. You can't expect to find someone who cherishes you if you aren't willing to do the same. At the end of the day, ladies and gentleman alike; please, remember your worth. Remember you ought to be valued.
