During my junior and senior years of high school, I was part of a club called PEERS. Members of the club traveled to middle schools in our districts and taught an entire health class about abstinence.

Yes, abstinence.

Members of PEERS had to be specifically recommended by a teacher. We were the “good kids” - the ones who stayed out of trouble and got good grades. (Of course being a “good kid” correlates with being abstinent, right?)

We would show the students pictures and videos of STD’s, tell hypothetical stories of unhealthy sexual relationships, do countless activities about how STD’s are spread and explain the expenses of having a child. The overarching theme was that all healthy relationships involve two people who are abstinent until marriage. Now, middle school is a pretty vulnerable age where you’ll believe pretty much anything you hear and likely even blow that out of proportion.

I grew up thinking that if I were to ever have sex, I would immediately catch a disease that would leave me infertile forever and turn my genitals into a crime scene. But, of course, all of these risks would go away if I were married.

I agree that a conversation about STD’s and pregnancy prevention should be had with students in a school setting. Middle school is even probably a good age to begin having that conversation. However, doing it through scare tactics is not the correct approach AT ALL. If students are scared at this age, they grow up feeling extremely confused about their sexual inklings. They want to have sex but don’t want their genitals to fall off - a bit of a predicament.

They begin to feel shame for the way they are naturally feeling.

Some parents will counter this and have that beloved “sex talk” with their kids, and that’s great! Some kids will get such a good and supportive education from their parents that it won’t matter what they hear in school, but others will get either the same thing from their parents, something worse or nothing at all. Some parents ignore the topic completely and leave their children to fester by their own sexually confused adolescent selves.

The good news is that even though there are way too many “sex -ed” methods out there that are similar to PEERS, it’s likely that they’ll touch on condoms at some point. We can hope that this will stick with our students, and they’ll at least use them if they become sexually active. They’re also pretty easily accessible. However, we don’t stress their importance near enough, or how to PROPERLY use them.

If condoms aren't properly used, they become much less effective (98% when properly used, 85% when not).

The BEST way to protect yourself is to use condoms and another form of birth control. This seems like an obvious solution, but there’s often such a stigma and feeling of shame surrounding birth control that it’s difficult or impossible for them to obtain it. Even if a girl’s periods are unbearable or if she’s sexually active, she’ll often avoid the topic. Many parents are either overly protective of their daughter’s sex life or avoid it. Even if the daughter were to go to the doctor alone, many children can be on their parent’s health insurance until the age of 26. The idea of their parents knowing is often too shameful for them to take the plunge.

Clearly this is a complicated issue. The shame behind obtaining birth control combined with little education about how to actually prevent pregnancy and STI’s is the main cause of unwanted pregnancy and spread of STI’s. If we start feeding our children’s minds with POSITIVE language surrounding safe sex, they’ll grow up understand it in a healthier way.

Talk to your kids.