We did it, America. We finally did it. Climate change is beginning to seriously affect us (for those of you who didn't already think Earth was affected), and the one plan the United States had is no more thanks to jolly old Donald Trump. Now, I'm no scientist but a good Google search and I can understand almost anything. That being said, let's dive into all the wonderful things that will happen to the planet if climate change continues!
1. No more paying more for the "healthier" bread!
Does it ever bother you to see a higher price for a loaf of whole wheat bread than white bread? Well, when a person wants to opt for the healthier source of grains they turn to whole wheat bread because of its heavy protein content. However, in a study done at the UC Davis Department of Plant Sciences, if carbon dioxide levels continue to rise the conversion from nitrate to protein is inhibited. If levels do continue to increase as predicted, whole wheat will no longer be accessible and you'll be able to buy that super unhealthy bread again at a cheaper price!
2. Mo' climate change, mo' health problems
As sea levels rise, temperatures increase, and pollution grows, people are exposed to a higher risk pool for health problems. But, so what? Health care is going to improve so much for Americans thanks to the Republican health care bill!
3. No more Starbucks!
That's right! You won't have to see a Starbucks in your town thanks to climate change! Most coffee is made from the arabica coffee tree, including coffee sold in Starbucks so with that obnoxious company out of the way you can get your coffee from.... oh, wait. No, this is bad. We can't lose coffee.
4. It's getting hot in here!
No need to wear that heavy parka in the winter thanks to global warming! With rising temperatures, water is evaporated into the air at a more rapid pace. As a result, some areas become heavily flooded when it rains and other areas experience extreme droughts like California did for a few years recently. But it is starting to snow in Texas and Louisiana so maybe all those scientists are crazy, who knows?
5. No more smelling gross seafood
Marine ecosystems are adapting constantly to the changing environments. Coastal amenities -- especially seasonal businesses -- will feel the economic impacts brought on by this because many of the resources businesses have thanks to marine life will disappear. But, at the same time you won't have to walk past a crab shack and hold your nose because it smells like the ocean.
6. Toss out those salad bowls!
No need to satisfy those healthy people who like to eat salads. Lettuce is primarily grown in California and Arizona, but thanks to climate change everything is shaken up! Arizona experienced warmer weather earlier than expected last year while California experienced an incredible amount of precipitation that delayed production. California picks up the bulk of lettuce production when it's out of season in Arizona, but if the gap in lettuce production continues salad prices rocket. Boxed mashed potatoes are always in season though, and they're cheaper, and can now be your healthy side dish with salad out of the way!
7. And you thought you couldn't sleep now!
Wait until climate change really gets in gear. Sleepless nights now are nothing compared to what they will be thanks to increasing temperatures. Without easy access to air conditioning, it's harder for people to sleep comfortable at night. Don't forget about senior citizens either; old age makes it more difficult to regulate one's body temperature.
Climate change is a real threat. It poses serious threats to our future. Do your part and recycle. Shut the sink off while you're brushing your teeth. Don't fall asleep with all of your lights on. Carpool if you're in an urban area. Call your representative in Congress and tell them you want them to help fight climate change. If we do this together, we can do this.