Going through high school, I didn’t have the best relationship with my mom. Me being a stubborn teenager? What a surprise. However, once I moved across the country for college—I'm in Chicago, my family is in Orange County—everything changed because I was (and still am) establishing my own ways as an adult. I finally started to realize just how much my mom means to me, and how much I truly appreciate all she has taught me. I've learned a lot from her—even when I didn’t realize it.

Here are the seven standout pieces of life advice I have received from my mom over the years:

1. Life is short. Buy the shoes.

Well…kind of. Don’t buy the amount of shoes (or purses) my mom does, but understand the premise behind the saying: if you want it, go for it! Now be responsible, making sure you don’t dig yourself into a deep financial hole or start unhealthy habits, but if you need to treat yourself, then don’t hesitate. A few weeks ago I really needed to spoil myself, and it felt really good to do so without feeling guilty for splurging. Whether it be shoes, binge watching shows, going on trips, going to get ice cream, etc., if you find value in it, don’t wait because life truly is short.

2. If you're really worried about it, then don't have it.

This comes from learning to, "adult" and monitor your own groceries and expiration dates. I always ask my mom, “Is __ still okay to eat?” She will either encourage me to toss it out or will say it's probably fine and I don't have to have it. Now this is a twofold piece of advice. First, my mom is setting me up for independence in making my own big girl decisions. Second, she is also encouraging me that if something is causing me so much worry and stress, then don’t partake in it. The advice is something that has translated into several different aspects of my life and has allowed me to say no to various present stressors. Yes, even to say no to the simple, mundane food expiration dates.

3. Everything is good in moderation.

My mom is a big advocate for not starving yourself from the things you enjoy, without crossing the line into being a glutton. She very much harps on constructed diet programs and does not believe them to be effective because of how you typically starve yourself from things you like. Recently, my mom has been losing weight. Yay, mom! She has been making conscious efforts to work out and eat better for self-motivated self-improvement, but you bet she will indulge in an In-N-Out milkshake or a big ole glass of delicious red wine if she really wants to. She has found the balance in sticking true to your goals, without having to be disciplined about when to indulge, i.e. "Cheat Day." Indulge on your own terms, for your own enjoyment. Moderation is key.

4. Just let it be.

I am your typical Type A personality. If a project, task, any relationship, etc., was a little bird in my hands, sometimes I get so wound up, stressed and in need of control, I end up crushing the bird. This is when my mom tells me to just let things be. Let it be and take a step back. Don’t try to always be in control because it doesn’t lead to anything healthy. I cannot control people or certain situations, but I can control how I react. Things will work out, but only if I take a step back and let them. Let the cute little bird be free.

5. Breathe, it'll be okay.

Those are her go-to words when I am mid-meltdown. I cannot count the times I have called my mom in hysterics, even when she is at work or in the middle of something a little more important than my irrationalities. She is always there to calm me down by getting me to slow my ugly, hyperventilating crying and to encourage me that things will be okay. Even when not crying, yet still overwhelmed and stressed, it is essential to take a step back, take a deep breath to regulate your breathing and know that everything will be okay. This is but a moment.

6. There is so much love inside you, and it's okay to share it with yourself.

I have a pretty big heart. I tend to love and take care of everyone else before I take the time to love and take care of myself. I’m the last on my totem pole in terms of priorities, but not because I think poorly of myself, it's just how I naturally am. However, there are times in which I give my love and care to the wrong people, situations, etc., when it needs to be directed toward myself, and not in a negatively selfish way. It's important to check in with yourself, making sure you're doing okay because you need love too. It has been extremely liberating to learn to love myself, embracing and congratulating the strong woman I have become.

7. Have fun, be safe, I love you.

My mom ends her text messages one of two ways: with either a happy face emoji or with this quote. Though simple, this phrase means a lot. With it, she shows her willingness to give me freedom and respect me as an independent adult. She also encourages me to enjoy myself, while also expressing her natural and normal parental concern. Finally, it is closed with a reminder of how she loves me. It is short, sweet and to the point.

I really am thankful to have such an incredible mom, who constantly gives me unconditional love, support and encouragement. And for those who don’t have that kind of relationship with their own mom, don’t have their mother as a prominent figure in their life, or she has passed away, etc., I hope my mom’s wisdom and love through this article can be there for you, just as it has been there for me.

So thank you, Mommy. I love you.