Election day is nearly upon us. (Remember! Democrats, independents, and all other parties vote on Tuesday, November 8th, and Republicans vote on the 9th.) To gear up for the big day, take a peek at our list of tips and tricks to help you make the most of the day!
1. Get up early
Should this day prove to be the twilight of our nation, you’ll need to keep your eyes peeled. In the wake of the impending nuclear winter, somebody’s going to need to keep an oral history to share with the children who have to grow up in a Panem-esque wasteland. Also, you don’t want to miss out on any fresh election memes.
2. Eat a healthy breakfast
Perhaps you can enjoy a healthy meal of Wheaties, in hopes that it will somehow aid in tipping the cosmic scales enough to avoid utter catastrophe.
3. Wear sturdy shoes
Depending on your voting place, you may be standing in line for a while, or you may need to sprint away from a riot or two.
4. Check in with friends and family
Make sure they’ve exercised their right to vote too! Also check to make sure they have at least two emergency exits available in their immediate vicinity, should the nation devolve into the newest remake of the Purge.
5. Find a place to watch the election results
Perhaps you can find a perch on a barstool at your favorite dive. If you're lucky, one of the dozen TV sets will be displaying updates on the election instead of whatever minor league golf tournament the manager is oddly invested in.
6. Wait it out
Reflect on how you are coming of age in a time that is not novel in its intolerance, but rather appalling in its allowance of persistent prejudice. Continue to blame a single figurehead of a failing political organization instead of the hordes of supporters that back them. Wonder if, in a strange way, you should be grateful for all the racism, xenophobia, misogyny, and general hatred that has been openly tolerated during this campaign, if only because it outed the true sentiments of millions of people, the same citizenry you are surrounded by every day. Sorrow for the children who hold close to their parents tonight, wondering if the angry man on TV will kick them out of their home, and the parents clutching them even closer in turn. Wrestle with the desire to call your own parents, your grandparents and demand an explanation for the world their generation formed, the injustice they passively enabled. Bite your tongue as you pray that your children do not ask you the same.
7. Post an 'I voted' selfie on Instagram and check out some cute memes
Haha, yeah, his hair DOES look like a shamwow!
