You love them, you hate them, but most importantly: you love to hate them. Yes, I'm talking about brothers. Whether they're five years old or five years older than you, they still find ways to annoy you in the most loving way. Here are signs that you are either blessed or unfortunate enough to have a brother!
1. You never take the blame alone.
Is mom yelling at you because you went over your data this month? Need an escape? Look no further than your own brother. The easiest way to make sure your punishment is lessened is to give your mom evidence that your brother did something worse. I might have went over the data this month, but my brother got a detention and never told our parents so therefore this is the perfect opportunity to escape!
2. You always have someone to threaten your exes.
Even if your brother is weaker than your ex, your brother is still going to defend you when your heart gets broken. Brothers all have the mentality that they're allowed to make you cry but nobody else is. Does it make sense? No, not really. But does it feel good knowing nobody is allowed to hurt you? Of course. Even the most bratty brother wants to protect you.
3. Your room always looks clean...
In comparison, that is. But honestly sometimes I step into my brother's room and its synonymous with stepping into a landfill. Is it really necessary to have nine dirty plates and seven dirty cups piled on your dresser? Not at all, but that doesn't stop him. As long as you two don't share a room, this is a perfect opportunity. Anytime your parent goes to yell at you to clean your room, just calmly point out his (see #1 for more tips).
4. You have a high tolerance for annoying people.
After growing up with a brother, you can take on the world. You are prepared to work with customers who are needy in retail, have your own whiny children, or become a correctional officer (you've had practice with misbehaved people...). Your tolerance for dealing with the unpredictable, messy, and sometimes cranky is at an all time high.
5. You threaten your friends if they think he is cute.
Rule number one: don't date my brother if you're my friend. Sorry ladies, but it's going to be a no from me (and a forced one from him). It's impossible to maintain a friendship with someone if you constantly have to wonder if they're over to visit you or your brother. It's much easier to stay away.
6. Family outings are 10 times more fun.
Even though 10x0 is still 0...Nothing says fun like gossiping about your extended family, right? The real fun begins when you and your brother are sat at the kids table and can talk about how you hate your life for the full two hours. So yes, we are judging you across the table.
7. Strangers think you two are dating.
Nothing else makes me want to rip my hair out more than having a stranger (typically an elderly person) call us a cute couple. No, no, no. It's basically emotionally scarring to hear that. It's a million times worse to have a twin brother because then it seems more realistic.
So whether your brother is five or 25, you can probably relate to some of these signs. My brother, Stone, is both a blessing and a curse. We fight like crazy, but we always have each other's backs. I hate him, I love him, and I love to hate him. But, I wouldn't be the same without him.
