Everyone has that one friend that’s always in a relationship. It seems like every few months it’s a new S.O. that they’re madly in love with. Unfortunately, I’m that person.
A self-identified serial dater. Every year I find myself swept away into a new relationship. It’s particularly annoying when I’m judged for being a flirt or too attached to guys when the only issue is that I’m falling too hard and being a hopeless romantic.
Coming home from college after my first year and going back to my summer job, the first thing asked was “So which boy are you with now? I can never keep track.” Ouch.
As I have tried to explain, it truly is not my fault that I end up in this situation. For those that know me, I’m fairly emotionless from the outside, introverted, and definitely not a people person. The guys I go for tend to be fairly similar; extremely emotional, craving love, and inexperienced when it comes to dating. Boy, do I know how to pick them. This means that when we decide to date exclusively, 4 out of 5 of my last boyfriends said I love you within the first week. Red flags everywhere.
So I get swept up in the excitement and “honeymoon stage” of early romance and despite my better judgment, I go all in. You would think after a few years of the same issues I would have learned my lesson, or at least learned to stand my ground and hold off on commitment. But I’m a 20-year-old naive romantic so that just isn’t happening.
Confessions of a serial dater. I know what most people must think of me, and I know what most people say to my face and it’s usually not the nicest. I’ve been talked about behind my back throughout my small town, among my friends, gossiping parents and even the parents of my friends. And yes it feels like shit.
But, at the end of the day, I have been so loved and so happy in the last four years than most people I know. Do I regret spending 8 months with someone that made me happy at the time? Of course not. Should I apologize to all the judgemental people in my life that think I’m going too fast or wasting my time? Definitely not. Judge me all you want, but I don’t regret giving a relationship my all because at the end of the day I put work into something I valued and how can I be embarrassed about that?
So to anyone who has looked at me and said, wow that girl really gets around, to you I say I was a teenager living a normal life. I was living every day to reach for extreme happiness. That’s what dating is to me, being with someone that makes me happy. I don’t need to justify my relationships or change of boyfriend to anybody because if it wasn’t the best situation I could be in, don’t you think I would know that?
I’m young, and naive, and have a lot to learn about life and economics and how to best clean the inside of my oven, but when it comes to relationships I have learned so much more than people twice my age. I know what I want, what I deserve, what I need, and who I am as a partner and an individual. I’ve learned what it takes to make a long distance relationship work, how to balance your time with someone who lives two floors below you, and what will make me happiest when I feel like I just can’t take life anymore.
What is the point of living if it’s not to make me happy? Yes, that’s cliche but it’s true. I’m going to be selfish and I don’t need anybody else’s opinion along the way.
My confession as a serial dater: it doesn’t bother me. If it bothers you that’s your problem but I’m living my best life and I couldn’t care less what you might think.
