I'm Always The Girl Before The Girlfriend
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I'm Always The Girl Before The Girlfriend

Just be honest next time.

I'm Always The Girl Before The Girlfriend
Jose Chomali

The girl before the girlfriend.

What does this mean?

Well, let's say you meet someone and you hit off. You get together pretty often, text, and they tell you they like you. Maybe they take you out on a real date, maybe they don't.

Before you know it, it's been a few months and you still don't know where you stand with them. Obviously, you both have feelings for each other, but where is this going? You finally build up the courage to ask them what's going on and what they're looking for. The dreaded answer finally is said: "I'm not looking for a relationship right now". Ouch.

So, you finally break it off with the person.

You talk here and there and then suddenly, communication has completely stopped.

Guess what?

You see that same person who said they weren't looking for a relationship, IN A RELATIONSHIP.

That's how you become the girl before the girlfriend.

You know what that tells me?

It shows that they weren't ready for a relationship with you. No, you're not the problem at all. This happens quite often and it's very frustrating. I've gotten a handful of excuses such as, "I'm not ready to be in a relationship", I'm not looking for a relationship", "I'm worried I won't have time for you", and my all-time favorite, "I don't like labels".

The worst thing you can do is string somebody along for a period of time, gain their trust and affection, and then shatter their heart. It's like it's so easy for someone to move on so quickly while the other person is left behind feeling hurt and disappointed, let alone see them happy with someone else.

You start to think, "Why couldn't that be me?" "Was I not good enough?".

You are good enough and be glad that you're not with them because they weren't good enough for YOU.

My advice for anyone who has done this to another person is, to be honest with them and if you just don't think you're a good fit, tell them! It's a lot better than lying to them because eventually, they're going to see your relationship plastered all over social media anyway.

Sometimes I find it hard to be trusting because I never know if it's going to happen again. It's almost as if I expect it now. I know, down the road, that the right person will come along for me. I just got to go through the trial and error first.

To the "men" that have done this to me, I deserve a thank you, don't I?

I helped you realize what you wanted and I was the stepping stone towards you meeting the girl of your dreams. I also want to thank you because you also helped me realize, you're not even close to being the man of my dreams.

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