Two women come to you, the king, hysterically yelling at each other. One of them cradles a baby. The other woman claims the baby was stolen from her by the woman holding him: on the night her baby died, she replaced the sleeping baby at her side with the dead infant. Now you have a decision to make. You, of course, request a sword to cut the baby in half so both women can have part of the baby. The real mother becomes frantic and says the other woman can have the baby. The truth revealed, you reunite mother and son.
What would have happened if this story from 1 Kings had gone differently? What if the baby had been cut in half? Do you think he would have lived? I’m serious. What would be the repercussions for cutting one person, one flesh, in half? I’ve never physically seen this happen. However, I’d imagine it would involve hemorrhaging, excruciating pain, organ failure, brain damage, etc.
Using a sword to divide someone in half is rather gruesome. Is there a better (less painful and deadly) way to divide a human into two equal pieces? My mind has a creative and vivid imagination, but no matter how I analyze this situation, it will involve pain and death. Sure, you could use morphine or anesthesia, but this event would cause emotional pain to the person’s loved ones.
Why even think about this? What is the benefit of cutting one flesh into two? These fantastic questions are usually meet with the following responses: I just don’t love him anymore; She cheated on me; I can’t stand him. He’s so annoying; She isn’t the person I married; We just can’t work it out; I could never forgive him for what he did. The list goes on.
When two people marry, they become “one flesh,” like conjoined twins. Conjoined twins must learn to work together to accomplish tasks. If they disagree about their goals, they must reach a compromise before they can move forward. In some cases, it's impossible to surgically separate them without causing death to both of them. There have been cases where they can hear each other’s thoughts and see through each other’s eyes. They are connected in the most intimate way.
Typical studies estimate that approximately half of marriages in this country result in the division of one flesh, with the above responses used as justifications. Each marriage is unique. I cannot say that there are not good justifications for divorce in some cases, like spousal abuse. However, I can say with absolute certainty that the effects of divorce can be detrimental and should not be taken lightly. Even when there appears to be little hope, the pain of working out the issues in a marriage could be significantly less than the pain of divorce.
The option of divorce can seem rather appealing when one is experiencing significant amounts of pain. But why is divorce even considered an option? Unless you were radically different with your wedding vows, you made a public promise to stay with your spouse until death. And unless you married someone you meet five seconds ago (not recommended) or your spouse is an alien from space (still not recommended, but, who knows, it could work out), you knew the one who slipped a ring on your finger was a human with flaws. You may not have realized how deeply those flaws ran, but you were aware of them.
Love is a choice. Read that again. Love is a choice.
You decided whether or not your spouse was worth fighting for. You decide how valuable she is to you. You decide if you're re going to tell him he isn’t good enough so you found satisfaction with another man. It’s up to you to decide to help her become a better person. You determine if your wedding vows should have been, “for better, for richer, in health, in good times, until you stop making me feel a certain way,” or if you truly meant the love phrases in your vows.
You decide if your current situation is worth cutting you and your spouse in half.
