Have you ever noticed that we often use the same things to cheer ourselves up as we do to celebrate?

Whether it be going out for a drink, buying something new, or making that favorite dish for dinner, it seems like we each have a few "go-to’s" that we resort to when we are under stress. Mind you, there are positive and negative stressors.

Got a promotion at work? Did well on a test in school? Met someone new? Definitely causes for celebration!

Lost your job? Having a difficult time in school? Fighting with a friend or romantic partner? These could call for some cheering up.

Any one of these could be followed by a favorite meal of mac and cheese or the purchase of a new pair of shoes, whether it be to celebrate or to console.

Food and drink have been noticeable habits that people turn to when responding to stimuli. Some tendencies become more specific to a person. I can say I’ve been guilty of partaking in retail therapy, resorting to beauty habits, exercise, unhealthy eating.

And that’s the scary thing - most of these things that I’ve noticeably abused are things that I actually need.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with tending to my cosmetic needs, and exercise is good for me.

I have to eat... That’s why I find eating/drinking to be one of the most dangerous things a person can turn to.

We know these things are essential and good for us in moderation. However, in some events it can become difficult to identify when you’ve exceeded a healthy dosage. You can always find a way to justify excess usage, but more is not always better. Under stress, it’s hard to judge a sense of balance.

On the other end of the spectrum, shopping, beauty, exercise, and eating are usually things done when feeling a sense of accomplishment as well. It’s a little less likely to be overdone or abused when in a positive state of mind, but it should be recognized that even a brain under positive stress isn’t in its “right” mind.

Are you familiar with the quote:

“Don’t promise when you are happy, don’t reply when you are angry, and don’t decide when you are sad.” (Ziad K. Abdelnour)

This is something to take into consideration. Our judgment can be slightly off in any heightened emotion. Perhaps this is why we tend to take essential practices and amplify their significance in hopes that it returns us to a more neutral state of mind. Or in the event of celebration, just maintain that amplified default mindset.

So... at what point does coping turn into self medicating?

Let’s take a look at what defines self medicating - it’s an attempt to alleviate stress, anger, or sadness. Having nothing to do with a prescribed treatments, it’s a person’s attempt to use things readily available to them . You could argue that these practices fall under the category of instant gratifications, which psychologically speaking, are merely just temporary mood fixers and therefore have developed a negative connotation.

And as stated previously, these often walk a thin line of things we need. Hence the easy justification.

I noticed that any “resource” that I was resorting to that could expire, wouldn’t replenish itself, and was a quick fix was just me attempting to self medicate.

I’d urge you to identify a few of the tactics you resort to when sad. Compare those to your celebratory practices.

Again, self care and treating yourself is important. And you deserve to treat yourself.

But, where can we draw the line?