You can read all the self-help books in the world but, learning to love yourself as a young black girl is the hardest thing possible. Melanin skin, coarse hair, and a developing body can be the most traumatizing thing if you are not taught to love yourself unconditionally. The media portrays a certain type of "Black Female", which is usual an "Instagram model." The kind of woman our young girls strive to be, has had countless surgeries ranging from butt and breast implants.
Sometimes these Instagram models will even go to the extreme of having ribs removed, so they appear to have a smaller waist. These models are hardly ever rocking their natural hair, they tend to wear weaves and wigs. Our skin is already attention grabbing, if you do not love yourself it only makes it harder. So, I will show you the process it took me, a twenty-four-year-old black woman, to truly and unconditionally love herself:
Melanin skin: I began falling in love with my chocolate skin when I started taking care of it. The main thing I did was realize how special my skin tone is, there is no one on earth who is your exact color. Your skin tone is unique to you, just like your finger print. I had to realize that my skin tone was not a disadvantage it was what made me stand out.
Coarse hair: Growing up many girls are taught that their hair is "unmanageable", which is never the case. To unconditionally love your hair, it will take you great patience to learn your hair. Just like your skin, your hair is like no one else's. I started off loving my hair by always wearing my hair in its natural state. I feel empowered when I have unleashed my curls and my hair is defying gravity.
Developing body: Young black girls bodies grow at a fast rate. I can remember growing breasts in the third grade and not really understanding why no one else had to wear bras. The best thing you can do for your developing body is to wear clothes that are comfortable and cute to you. The women that are popular social media are not what a young woman strive to be, because their bodies are not realistic.
Mentally: I truly began to love myself when I tuned out the negatives I heard from others. I focused on what I loved about myself, and as the days went by I found that there was so much to love about myself as a black woman. I started to love myself in private but even more in public. I confessed my love to myself by taking care of myself and living my life unapologetically as a black woman.
To love yourself as a young black woman, is to see your beauty when the world shames it. You have to look in the mirror and love the hair that can be unruly at times, or the skin that can be ashy if you forget to put on some lotion, and the body that has stretch marks and doesn't always look like the models. The most important thing to self-love is, you have to love your spirit because that is what radiates and shines through
