We've all heard the popular mantra: "self-care isn't selfish…" but what does that really mean? To me, I feel that the concept of self-care goes hand-in-hand with the concept of self-love; they belong together. Self-care is not just taking a spa day, or a scented bubble bath once a week. True self-care, (and self-love), comes from connecting with your inner self and figuring out just what it is you may feel like your life is lacking. Did you break up with your S.O.? Did you fail that huge Biology test? These are issues that need some perspective, and that is where the concept of self-care can help. Self-love also comes into play here, too.

Self-care for me starts with holding myself accountable for the things in my life—not punishing myself by any means, but by making sure I am staying in the present moment and truly letting myself soak in all of my emotions—good or bad. I made a promise to myself a while ago that I would sit with my emotions, but I wouldn't let myself make my home down there. It is important, and absolutely essential for us as human beings to be able to truly connect with, and in turn, let go of our emotions. That is the core of what self-care means to me.

So what about self-love? Well, just as I hold myself accountable for the things in my life that happen to me, I also hold myself accountable for how I feel about myself. I might not always like myself or like what I see in the mirror every day, but I always love myself. And yeah, I know that sounds super cheesy and cliché, but there's a whole lot of truth and power in that mindset. Think about it. If you don't hold yourself accountable for your opinion of yourself, then how on earth can you expect to think highly of who you are?

I started giving myself ten positive affirmations about what I like about myself every single day. Some of my affirmations are as trite as "My new lipstick looks kick-ass on me today!" Some of my affirmations are goal-oriented, like "You go girl! You just self-published your second poetry book!" (And yes, that happened back in January, by the way.) The one affirmation that I end with every single day is this: "I deserve the same love I would give someone else, and I promise to learn to love myself as I would want someone else to. "