When I think of Selena Gomez I think of her gorgeous long dark hair, her enviable friendship with Taylor Swift, and her successful music career. Mental illness never comes to mind.
When accepting the award for Pop and Rock Female Artist of the Year at the American Music Awards Gomez bravely shared her struggle with mental illness.
“I think it’s safe to say that all of you know my life whether I like it or not. I had to stop because I had everything and I was absolutely broken inside. I kept it all together enough to where I would never let you down but I kept it too much together to where I let myself down. I don’t want to see your bodies on Instagram. I want to see what’s in here [holds chest]. I’m not trying to get validation nor do I need it anymore. All I can say from the bottom of my heart is I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to be able to share what I love every single day with people that I love. I have to say thank you so much to my fans because you guys are so damn loyal and I don’t know what I did to deserve you. If you are broken you do not have to stay broken. If that’s anything whether you respect me or not that’s one thing you should know about me. I care about people. Thank you so much for this. This is for you.”
She appeared to have everything. Numerous awards for her music, money, good-looks, etc. But none of that showed what was inside: anxiety and depression as a side-effect of lupus disease. Lupus disease damages any part of the body by fighting and destroying healthy tissues in the body. Pain and inflammation can occur.
She has been admitted to rehab in the past to combat anxiety attacks and depression.
The main takeaway from the speech is that you are not alone. To not contain the problem, whatever it is, so that it burns up inside you. But to get help. “If you are broken, you do not have to stay broken.” Such a hopeful message that whatever is crippling you will not last forever.
Another important message is to not focus on looks, but what’s on the inside. “I don’t want to see your bodies on Instagram. I want to see what’s in here [holds chest].” Taking the perfect selfie, or having the perfect body is not as important as who you are as a person. What is inside is more important than the outside. This message really resonated with me. My mom taught me growing up, “beauty is as beauty does.” Meaning no matter how you look on the outside, your actions and heart are more meaningful and ultimately what makes a person beautiful.
“I’m not trying to get validation nor do I need it anymore.” How many likes can I get on Instagram? How many compliments will I get on my outfit? How many boys will smile at me today? These are all questions, either subconsciously or consciously, that are dealt with by the majority of people on a daily basis. But living for others will never make us happy. Depending on others for acceptance and validation can lead to feelings of depression and anxiety. If one compliment gives you life, than one criticism will kill you. Focus on if you think you are a good person or not and eventually others words can’t make or break you.
In society, we need to have more conversations about mental health. Talking about it is the first step to healing. Her vulnerability by being open and honest about her struggle is something to be praised. She didn’t go on that stage to ask for sympathy or to victimize herself. Rather she her audience a hopeful message that life can and will get better.
