Relationship Advice On How To Secure A Bae

Trust Me: How To Navigate The Talking Stage And When to Define The Relationship

Relationship advice from the chronically single.

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I know absolutely nothing about romance: the last time I "dated" a guy was in 8th grade. I don't even have a bad date story to tell you considering I've never been on one. And yet, I'm constantly being asked for relationship advice — and by some miracle, I'm pretty good at it. So, while I have no idea how to execute my advice in my own life, here are the things I've told my closest friends. You're gonna want to write this down... or maybe just screenshot it and send it to one of your many group chats.

Step 1: The Talking Stage

Before people dive into relationships, there's the talking phase. Personally, it's my least favorite one to both hear about and be in. The talking stage is like trying to navigate No Man's Land with a blindfold on. For any number of reasons, the conversation can stop cold, leaving one or both parties asking, "what just happened?" The most common reason the spark can burn out comes down to bad conversation. No one wants to get stuck in an endless cycle of "What's up?" SWITCH IT UP. Try starting each conversation in a new way.

We all know pick up lines DO NOT work. Try sending a wholesome meme instead. They take way less effort since they've already been made by someone else, and they perfectly blend Gen Z humor and romance. The weirder (but not pervy!) ones are guaranteed to get a laugh or at least a question in response. Everyone knows this stage is awkward, so lean into it!

My favorite #wholesome meme @cutewholesome_memes on Instagram

For the more serious flirters, insert some deeper questions into the conversation. (And no, 20 questions doesn't count). It can be as simple as urging your crush to elaborate. Start asking "why', instead of simply responding with "cool, lol." Not only will you learn more about the other person, but they'll appreciate you wanting to know things about them that aren't just surface level.

Step 2: DTR (Define the Relationship)

Let's say you and your crush are really vibing and things are getting serious. If you made it this far, congratulations! It's no easy feat. Unfortunately, it only gets harder: it's time to DTR. Whatever it is you want from this person, DTR is when you let your guard down and tell them honestly how you feel.

When should you DTR?

Moving fast rarely works out. It's good to slow it down and make sure this is something you really want. When you move too fast, there could be red flags you miss or don't even have the chance to discover! Take things as slow as you deem necessary but stop to think if this is someone you're ready to commit to. It is also important that you are clear from the start about what you want not only with your potential partner but with yourself.

If your friends don't like them, it might be time to reevaluate. Can your friends be wrong? Of course! But sometimes, they see things we just don't. Yes, it is ultimately your choice, but keep in mind this is also a new person you are bringing into your close circle. If your close circle has legitimate concerns or even worse, if your potential boo is rude to your friends, it's time to reconsider.

Sometimes, people misread things. If your potential significant other starts flaking on plans, is still actively on Tinder and still seeing other people, all signs point to the fact that they may not be ready to commit to you or anyone, for that matter. However, if this is the case, I would still urge you to have a conversation about how you feel. If you want to commit, mention it in passing and gauge their response. They might not have known commitment was an option between the two of you. Instead of DTR, DYF: define your feelings.

If none of these apply to you, and you still want to DTR, go for it! At the end of the day, it doesn't matter too much who it is that broaches the subject. You could wait for the other person to ask you, but there is the potential that they're doing the same thing. The longer you wait, the more insecure you may become about their feelings for you. If this is someone you want to date, you should feel comfortable enough to talk it out.

So what happens after you DTR?

Honestly? I'm not sure. Instead of giving you half-baked advice, I'll leave you with some cheesy pickup lines:

"I was reading the book of Numbers and realized I didn't have yours" - Morgan Smith, UNC'22 (this one is perfect for Tinder)

"Yo feet must hurt, cause you've been running through my mind all day" - Jamya Graham, UNC'22 (a true classic)

Tune in next week, and I'll give you some tips about how to keep a relationship healthy, how to tell when it's become toxic, and when (and how) to let go.

Until then, keep it cute!

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7 Signals A Girl Will Try To Send You If She Likes You As More Than A Friend

Girls do subliminal things to show you her interest in you. Pay attention to these low key signs that she is shooting her shot.

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It is never easy when a girl has to fully admit her feelings to a guy she likes, so instead, she sends slight signals in hopes that he picks up on her hints.

1. She can't stop smiling at you

She is happy to talk to you and to be in your presence, the smallest things that you do make her want to smile. She can't control the happiness inside and it comes out in a great big smile. In her head, she is just thinking about how much she enjoys spending time with you and how much she likes you.

2. She hugs you with both arms

Side hugs are common, easy, and very universal. She wants to give you full body hug because to show you she feels different about you than any other guy. With a full body hug she can rest her face on your chest and this just brings the two of you closer.

3. She makes direct eye contact

Direct eye contact is always a great sign. This means she is fully aware of everything you are saying and she is completely interested.

4. She scans your face and lips

Upon talking to you, she begins to scan your face. In this moment she is appreciating your attractiveness and completely zoned out. Forget you said anything to her because she probably was not listening. If she is looking at your lips then she definitely wants a kiss.

5. She says "Oh my god, stahhhp"

The 'I'm mad at you, but I'm flirting with you' slogan. She is trying to be cute and pick a fight with you so you can two can play around. She's hoping this will lead to cracking jokes

6. She adjusts her clothing

She is fidgety when your around because she has feelings for you and is nervous. She wants to look her best with you around, so she is subconsciously fixing herself so that nothing looks bad.

7. She sends you cute snap chats

Silly, crazy, and just straight up ugly snap chats are for friends. If her selfies are , done each time, then she cares a lot about how you see her and she wants you to see her at her best. She is not always looking for a compliment, but throw one her way and you will make her day.

Pay attention to the signs a girl is sending. Her body language and behavior around all come together for an important message, she likes you! A lot.

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Ladies, Stop Trying To Teach Boys How To Be Your Man If They're Not Even Men In The First Place

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

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I see. this way too often, honestly it upsets me and breaks my heart. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to put her on her Snapchat story. It breaks my heart when I see a girl begging her boyfriend to get off a video game and spend time with her. It breaks my heart when I see a girl doodling on a napkin at the dinner table and her boyfriend is on his phone and hasn't even looked up at her once. These things break my heart because this girl, whoever she may be, maybe it is you? She deserves a man. What she has though, is a boy. And before you say anything, yes, there is a huge difference.

I was that girl once. I begged and begged my ex-boyfriend all the time to put me on his Snapchat story. You may be reading this and be thinking "Wow she's a little attention seeking." No, that is not it at all. A simple act of being posted about made me feel special, loved, missed at times, and served as reassurance and a word of affirmation for me. Do you want to know something silly? Maybe you've done it too. Sometimes I would do something crazy to get his attention. Something funny, and silly and random just so he would post me on his story and I wouldn't have to ask.

At the dinner table, I was that girl that while he was on his phone I was sliding him notes on a napkin saying "I love you" or "Hi" or funny jokes to get his full and undivided attention.

At home, I was the girl that used to literally throw myself at him while he was playing video games to try and get him to press pause for two minutes and pay attention to me and have a conversation with me.

You see, I was that girl. But I refuse to ever be that girl again. If you are that girl, stop what you're doing.

It is your job to love him. But it is not your job to teach him how to love you back.

There is a big difference between a boy and a man. Contrary to what society may believe most boys don't actually turn into men until they are almost 40. Scary for us girls right? But here's the kicker and to be honest it has nothing to do with age.

Any boy that is in the process of becoming a man and maturing is going to know how to treat a woman. He is not going to choose video games or his phone over you. He is going to post you everywhere all the time because he wants to show you off to the world and make you feel special. He isn't going to ever leave you wondering.

The list could really go on comparing and contrasting the differences between a boy and a man but the important ones to remember when you are in a relationship are:

1. A boy thinks "me." A man thinks "us"

2. A boy gives false promises. A man honors his commitments (one being you.)

3. A boy cares about how you look in jeans. A man cares about how you look in his future.

4. You will always wonder how a boy feels about you. You will always know how a man feels about you.

All too often I see girls in the act of this. It is almost like they are training a dog or raising a child. They order them around and become demanding when it comes to doing things that make them feel special, validated and reassured. Granted, they are doing this because their relationship is lacking something but the truth is, it shouldn't be lacking something in the first place.

You are dating a boy not a man. I hate to break that to you. I really do. It's the hardest news you'll ever receive. Why? Well because

You can't fix him, you can't teach him, and you can't change a boy into a man. They have to do it on their own

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