The Scars That Create Us

The Scars That Create Us

"Scars show us where we've been, not where we are going."

What is a scar? Is it a physical or mental scar? Everyone has them, even though we can't always see them.

Visual scars are scars that people can see. These scars people can be proud of, or something that saved their lives. These scars help define people and create them into becoming who they truly are. I hold a scar on my right ring finger from a homemade slip-n-slide incident that lead to surgery. This scar taught me to be more careful when it comes to slip-n-slides, so I usually just avoid them. We can see everyone’s visual scars but we might not be able to tell what they are from, or what they have taught that person. These visual scars can become a way for people to teach each other things about life, and share why they are who they are. Scars become part of our personality by what they taught and who it shaped up into.

People often act certain ways because of events that happened in their lives. These visual scars can often help us understand why someone acts the way they do. Scars help people connect as well. If someone has a scar on their knee from knee replacement surgery you can often relate to that person by connecting through your scars. These scars also show that no matter what you look like we are all still human and share the same things. We learn to accept everyone for who they are.

Mental scars are slightly a bit more complicated. These are the scars we can not see, and sometimes don’t share with others. Every person has some mental scars that mold that person into who they are. Mental scars can be created in a lot of different ways. Sometimes mental scars are created from a bad situation. If someone gets cheated on, they begin to build a wall to protect their hearts. This becomes a mental scar that this person carries with them. They may begin to cut off potential relationships to avoid the same situation, or their brain might try to get them out of a relationship because they don't want to deepen the scar. This is a barrier that a mental scar has created. Sometimes when someone holds this scar others get irritated at this person. It's hard to understand why someone holds a specific mental scar, and it's even harder to see the mental scars. When someone isn't acting the way you would expect them to, talk to them. They might hold a mental scar that you know nothing about. Sometimes you just need to dig a little deeper into someone. The surface doesn't tell the whole story.

Some mental scars are good ones. Some children associate a certain markets with getting a candy at checkout. This mental scar is a good one, and is the reason children ask for a sucker at the checkout line. Some mental scars are the reason people get overly excited about a topic or a place. These are also mental scars that can create conversations, and learn more about a person. These mental scars aren't seen either but add to the person’s personality.

We need to be considerate of others mental scars, but we also need to think about our own. If we hold a mental scar we can’t let it hold us back forever. If we went through a rough relationship we can't hold the walls up forever. We need to let this scar heal, it can heal slowly… but let it heal. If someone comes in your life, help them! Explain this scar to them, let them understand you and why you are who you are! Communication is key! Scars create us into who we are, but we can’t let them define us! Let all your scars heal over time!!

We can create mental scars for each other, it's a part of life. It's not a good part of life, but it's a fact of life. They say actions speak louder than words and that couldn't be more true. When we do something to someone, even something small, it could impact their life forever. Next time you think about talking about someone behind their back, or doing something “funny” to someone, think about how you would react. Would this give you a scar? We don’t want to “get equal” with someone, that gets you nowhere. “Getting even” just hurts someone else. Think before you act to make sure you don’t give someone else a mental scar. If you do, please be sensitive! Say you're sorry!! Your “image” doesn't matter in the end.

In the end we are all full of mystery! Our lives and scars shape us into who we are. We need to know that everyone leads different lives, everyone experiences different scars that help mold them into the person they are today. Scars are a beautiful thing! Without one of the scars in our life we would not be the person we are today! Be grateful for the scars you hold! Share your scars with others, you might connect with someone you never thought you would connect with!

"Never be ashamed of a scar, it means you were stronger that what tried to hurt you."

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To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.


So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?



Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

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