Did you know that one in three Americans is a victim of relationship abuse? This could include emotional, physical, verbal or sexual abuse. Anything from emotional abuse to using children to threats or intimidation could be used in an abusive relationship. The worst relationship abuse averages between ages 16-24. Unfortunately, only 33% of people who have been in an abusive relationship has spoken up about it.
Recently, I was given the opportunity to attend the Teens for Healthy Relationships conference led by Jersey Battered Women Service (JBWS). JBWS is a 24-hour hotline and offers services like counseling, support groups, temporary housing and so much more. Fortunately, I got to talk to Emily Baldi who works for JBWS and ask her some questions.
Emily works for JBWS because she believes "we all deserve to be in relationships that make us feel good and safe." She feels blessed to be given the opportunity to talk to teens and start conversations about "what's going on with teens, do they feel safe, do they feel valued?"
Any relationship you are in you should feel safe. You need to have a strong foundation and have values. One partner should not make the other feel less than they are.
To anyone who is going through an abusive relationship: "You are not alone," says Emily. "It is not your fault and you deserve to be in a relationship where you should feel free to be who you are." You should not feel embarrassed because it is happening to you. There are ways to get help and ways to get out of that unhealthy relationship. You have school counselors, your parents, friends, support groups and hotlines that you can turn to for help.
And to anyone who has seen the abuse first hand or knows someone who is a victim. You can help. Do not be a bystander. If a friend of yours is a victim, show concern but also be understanding. You could say "I know you don't want to break up with him, but I'm scared to see you get hurt." Be polite and not degrading because their confidence is probably not strong. If you are not close with the person go to your guidance counselor or just tell them something nice in the hallway to try to brighten their day. You can request someone to a support group or hotline. Most importantly, always remind the victim that you will always be there for them. They need to be reminded this because most times an abusive relationship restrains the victim from keeping contact with their friends so knowing someone is there is extremely helpful.
If you want to spread awareness there is also things you can do. You can start a dating abuse prevention club at school, you can have a toiletries or food drive for JBWS or a local prevention center near you. You can spread awareness by wearing orange for the week of respect. Take the Yellow Card Challenge and say no to dating abuse. And you can stand up for a victim of dating abuse.
Dating abuse is extremely serious and we need to keep spreading the word of how to prevent it and how to know if your relationship is abusive. It is important to know what key things you need to have in a relationship and know what an abusive relationship entails.
To learn more, including opportunities to volunteer, visit JBWS' website and check out the No2DatingAbuse Challenge.
Hotlines:
JBWS: 973-267-4763
loveisrespect: 1-866-331-9474
