Living with all girls

welcome to 30 flirty: what It's Like Living In A House With 7 Girls

How did we survive you ask? I honestly don't know.

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From the time I started dreaming about college, I started building up a fantasy of what roommates would be like while I was there. Having basically no real-life experience at the age of 16, eleventh grade me imagined that we'd all be best friends with coordinating comforters, the same taste in music and movies and the same passion for sharing clothes.

Well, as you can imagine, my bubble was burst after just one year of school when I realized that it's actually really hard to live with another person, and even harder to actually be friends with them.

Since starting college I've lived with gals who covered basically every facet of what a roommate could be both good and bad, but this past summer I was able to live in a house with six of my best friends.

Yeah seriously, we fit seven girls into one house. It was amazing —it also almost drove me completely insane. The house is affectionately named 30 Flirty, and I will never forget her.

Each girl completed a personality role that every friend group needs.

To start off I need to preface that there are two girls who used to live in the house but moved out before the summer. They won't be talked about but I adore them and they are absolutely a part of the family, their names are Abby and Lexi.

But as far as my time in the house is concerned, first there was Cleo, and although I knew her the least, she never failed to see how she could include everyone and get the whole gang in one something. She also is the one who's willing to share or borrow just about anything and she's really not afraid to let you see the real her.

Then there's Cierra, our silent comedian and resident place keeper, and by that I mean she's really not afraid to keep you in your place.

Next, we have Cameron aka Cami, one of the most vibrant souls I've ever met and the kind of gal who just really wants to know the you-that way she can really love you.

Then comes Meg, my little bee. She's my fellow four on the enneagram and ENFP on the Meyers Briggs (for all my personality nerds out there) aka my best friend and my biggest argument, and also our big-time dreamer in 30 Flirty.

Next, we have Mallory and Sarah, I'm putting them together not because they're the same by ANY means, but because those two are the ones who have basically heard, seen, smelt, etc basically everything about me.

Mal is our worry worm but also the one who will call you out for not taking care of your business. She's the one who will talk you through any problem by asking you the hard questions but she's also the same gal who makes really crazy choices and never feels bad about them-as she shouldn't.)

And Sarah is my laid back Mama Bear/Crazy Aunt who drags you to go dancing even when you don't want to go, who'll yell at the 60-year-old man that thinks you can't drive, and who'll spot you large amounts of money in emergency situations without batting an eye.

Oh and I can't forget Lou/Lou Lou/Eloise/Lewis, our very gender confused cat who will cuddle with you and then bite your nose off.

That's right guys seven girls, four rooms, and one cat.

How did we survive you ask? I honestly don't know.

What I do know is that through the disgustingly dirty bathroom, the 16 empty tampon boxes, the continuously not there toilet paper, the double sink always full of dishes, the constant borrowing without asking of clothes and the ten million screams is a family like I've never seen. It was hard to live with all those girls, even though I adore them all. It was hard because it showed me everyone else's flaws while also confronting me with my own.

It's very understandable to be frustrated when someone uses your body wash without asking, but it's ten times easier to do the same thing to them. It's easy to blame that missing $20 on one of your sticky finger roommates, but it's also easy to just lose it yourself.

It's super easy to confront everyone else when they've wronged you, but it's so not easy to apologize on your own accord when you've wronged them.

What living with these girls taught me is that no matter what people are fallible and at some point, everyone is going to be hurt.

But what it also taught me is that I can be fully (and I mean FULLY) loved and accepted and embraced and adored by girls who I am not biologically related to, but are as fully my family as my own flesh and blood. And that is the most important lesson.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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Summer = Rest?

Sometimes it feels as if we need a vacation... from our vacation.

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Ah summer: Popsicles and sun burns, mixed with fresh-squeezed lemonade that local kids are pandering to make enough money for Roman candles and Black Cats. The crack of the bat can be heard among the simmering charcoal grills and Troy-bilts humming through the ever-lasting sun. School is out and children are wild. It's a paradise.

Or is it?

But after countless sports camps and tournaments, other camps, vacations, school (?) events, traveling teams, VBS, summer seems to have been sucked fun-free.

Maybe it's Hollywood and Harper Lee's fault for giving us this utopian view of what summer should look and feel like (I'm looking at you Sandlot). But how can we really rest this summer? Because everyone needs some actual rest, even adults.

First thing is do NOT pack your summer full. Say no to some things. Coaches and Families can expect too much and it's okay to say no to them. You have to. There is no time for kids to be kids anymore.

Work can take a backseat. Vacations need to be taken. Families need to reconnect.

And for all my super-scheduled people out there, please PLEASE don't schedule out your vacation. Just enjoy it.

Another bit of advice would be to put away the technology and spend some time outside. When was the last time you tried to catch lightning bugs? Or went for a swim? Or listened to birds on your front porch?

I may sound like I have an old soul, but I really feel like we have lost this connection to the outside world. Summer is all about getting a farmer's tan and getting stung once or twice. I can guarantee you that's some of the best therapy in the world.

Maybe this sounds all over the place. Maybe this sounds like me ranting. And it probably is.

But I'm telling you that this stuff matters. Don't let summer whiz by and you arrive in August more drained that you were in May. Enjoy this time with family and friends.

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