Recently I have been seeing many articles floating around about how someone's boyfriend either is or is not their best friend as well, and why this is (or is not) okay. I feel that bits of one such as "I Won't Apologize For Being Best Friends With My Boyfriend" or "My Boyfriend Is My Best Friend" have it somewhat correct, but how I feel about the whole boyfriend-and-best-friend-in-one situation is a little bit different.
First off, yes, my boyfriend is my best friend, and I am his. He is the one who I want to tell all of my good or bad news to first, he is the one who I want a long hug from at the end of a stressful day, and he is the one who will be sitting beside me on a front porch when we're 80. For those three reasons, he is my best friend, but my best friend in a very different way than any other friend I've ever had.
When you have a mature, adult relationship, you understand that having a boyfriend who is also your best friend does not mean that you cannot have other friends who you spend time with or go out for a girls night with. In fact, when you are in a mature, adult relationship, your boyfriend will often say things to you such as “When was the last time you had lunch with your best friend from high school? You should see what she’s up to this week!” or “I’m sure your roommates would love for y’all to have a night out with just them, I’ll even come get you from Uptown when you’re done!”
You see, when you are with someone you truly love and who truly loves you, you both understand that you do not need to have a monopoly on each other’s time or friendships. You encourage each other to have a night with the boys or a movie night with the girls because you want the other person to be as happy as possible, and optimal happiness includes friendships with other people as well.
As far as having friends who are jealous of you spending time with your significant other or who wonder why you want to spend so much time with them, I only have two things to say—either you’re a little too obsessed with me, or you haven’t found that person who makes the good times just that much sweeter yet. Personally, I find friends who want to spend as much time with you as you spend with your boyfriend to be weird and still stuck in high school. No, I do not see my best friend every day or even every week, but that is because we are both adults in committed relationships who work jobs and go to school. At some point in time, people have to grow up and put priorities first, and I’m sorry, but spending every moment with your friends is no longer a priority once you’re out of high school.
It’s all about priorities, and I feel that most people would agree that the person who you will spend the next fifty years with and build a life with is a priority over any friend. So yes, my boyfriend is my best friend, but in a mature, adult, non-smothering kind of way. And that is what makes me happy.
