I Won't Apologize For Being Best Friends With My Boyfriend
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I Won't Apologize For Being Best Friends With My Boyfriend

Yes, I still love my friends, too.

I Won't Apologize For Being Best Friends With My Boyfriend
Megan Branch

There's such a negative stigma around girls being too close to their boyfriends. "Don't focus all of your attention on a boy." "Your friends are more important than your boyfriend." You've heard it all before and you've probably thought to yourself at least once that you won't ditch your friends for a boy. Friends are more important. But, what if you don't always feel like that? People always tell you to marry your best friend, but they get upset when you actually become best friends with your boyfriend.

Friends are important, of course! I love mine and still try to hang out with them daily, but I love my boyfriend too, and sometimes he takes priority. And that's okay. It helps that I'm in the same organization as all of my friends and rooming with one of them, but in my free time I try to spend most of it with my boyfriend because I want to.

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People like to make the argument that your friends will still be there for you even after you break-up with your boyfriend. Friendships end too, though, and I'd guarantee my boyfriend would be there for me if that happened. Not to mention that I'm in a serious and committed relationship, a break-up is definitely not on the horizon. People like to forget that you're actually probably going to marry one of these people one day. When I do, I'm sure my friends will be right by my side as bridesmaids, too, because they've never the people that get upset that I spend "too much time with my boyfriend." They might've thought it before, been annoyed that I couldn't make plans, but they get over it, they understand it.

My boyfriend was preparing a trip to Austria last year. I knew he was getting ready to leave and I wasn't looking forward to it. I planned almost all of my time with him and had to tell my friends multiple times that I couldn't hang out with them. I'm sure it was annoying, but they understood.

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Something important about juggling a friendship with your boyfriend and friendship with your friends is to never cancel on one. If you spent all of last week with your boyfriend and you have every day next week booked to do things with your boyfriend, don't cancel your plans to hang out with them instead if they complain. Everyone understands they shouldn't cancel on their friends to go hang out with their boyfriend, but people don't think about the reverse. Just because you spend more time with your boyfriend doesn't mean he won't care if you cancel on him. It still hurts. Plan to hang out with your friends the next time you're free. Even if you are spending too much time with him (which I think is impossible and illogical, if you want to marry someone you're going to want a lot of practice spending all of your time with them, not to mention that if you both like hanging out, you should hang out, there isn't a time limit), your plans with him are still important.

I love my boyfriend, I love spending time with him, I have so much fun when I do, so he is no less of a friend to me than my girl friends. I should not feel ashamed to love spending time with him.

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