The majority of people remember 9/11 like the back of their hand: what they were doing, where they were, and who told them when the horrifying historic event occurred. See, I was only nearly 2 years old when that happened, so I don’t remember a single thing about that day. All I know is that every year, on September 11th, everyone shares their stories similar to “it could’ve been me,” and “I was in New York that day,” but I’m unable to fully understand how my parents, teachers, babysitter, and friends felt on this day, but the historic event that I do remember vividly: The Sandy Hook shooting.
On December 14th, 2012, only 4 states away from me, a 20-year-old “man” Adam Lanza decided to take the lives of twenty-six innocent human beings- then himself. This was the deadliest mass shooting at an elementary in U.S history. Regardless of why he did it, who the kids were, and how many survivors there are- I remember exactly where I was when I heard the news.
I was in eighth grade, my first year at my new charter academy. It was an art school, so I tried to be as involved in dance and performing as possible. Every year, they do a special, audition-only-performance called “Dance-For-Change” charity in front of everybody- including parents and anyone who feels the appeal to come at watch. From what I remember, it was free, but donations were very appreciated. All the money goes to a different charity or to somewhere who needs it most. This just happened to be Sandy Hook this year, because it happened only weeks before the concert. With everything we were able to collect, we donated $561.10 to help the city of Newtown, Connecticut.
While the concert was weeks away, the auditions happened to fall the day of the shooting. I had never had a solo in my life, so as you can imagine, I was extremely nervous. I was auditioning the song, “Pray” by the famous Justin Bieber, with my two closest friends at the time. As we finished the song, we happily made our way back to homeroom for the remainder of the day. Immediately, we could see the fear in everybody’s eyes gathered around the teacher’s laptop. They were all reading news articles and watching live TV online; they all looked sick to their stomachs. We wandered over to the desk, and faintly asked what was going on.
My teacher at the time just turned the computer our way, so we could read for ourselves- the tragedy that ruined the lives of many people that day. After reading and discussing what had happened, we went home and went on with our days like normal.
What I should have done was hug my brother and sister a little harder, told my parents I loved them, told my teachers how much I appreciated them, and given a stranger a little kinder smile on the way out the door- but I didn’t. I went on with my day, went home and took a nap like I always did, and I bragged to everyone I knew how my act got into the concert and I even had a solo.
I had no idea the impact this made on everybody’s lives since then. With the constant controversy on gun laws, security, and protection at school and in public, I am capable of seeing both sides and understanding nearly everybody’s opinion. I believe that Adam Lanza’s mental instability took control of his thoughts, and I believe he should have gotten more help than he received- and consequently, young, innocent lives were taken for our faults. We chose not to take more action, we chose to ignore his symptoms, and because of that, our country broke apart and will never piece back together again. An estimated 51% of individuals who suffer with bipolar disorder are untreated in any given year- with 15% to 17% taking their own lives.
I’ll say it a thousand times, mental illness is not a joke. It is not something that can be cured with time, people need help, and we don’t realize that until it’s too late. Maybe if Lanza would have gotten the help he needed and deserved, I wouldn’t be writing this article. Those parents would not have buried their own children. His parents would not have buried him. One of the victims, Mary Sherlach, was one of the first educators to be killed that morning. Established by her family and friends in the community, Mary’s Fund continues to educate children and teens on mental illness, and provide to services in the area that they may not find otherwise.
My heart continuously goes out to the families affected, and the community as a whole. I pray that nothing like this has to happen again, and we can detect the signs and symptoms of a mental illness prematurely.
“Raise your words, not voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” -Jalaluddin Rumi
