7 Relationship Myths Debunked, Because Nothing Should Get In The Way Of You And Your New Boo

7 Relationship Myths Debunked, Because Nothing Should Get In The Way Of You And Your New Boo

Relationships are built on trust and communication. If you don't trust your partner to make their own decisions and be their own person, then why are you with them in the first place?

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Relationships are weird. They can be pretty complicated and confusing. Especially if you've never been in one before. There are a lot of—well, "rules" when it comes to relationships. At least that's what it feels like sometimes.

However, just because you hear about it from your friends, doesn't necessarily make them true. Here are 7 relationship myths debunked! You can thank me later.

1. Opposites attract 

Personally, it's a fifty-fifty. I think it's great to have things in common. I mean, if you guys were complete polar opposites, what would you guys even talk about? What would you guys even agree on?

But being the exact same wouldn't be any fun either. Somewhere in the middle is ideal.

2. You can't hang out with the opposite sex alone 

It's normal to feel jealous. It'd be weird if you weren't a little jealous from time to time.

But, to say your significant other can't have friends of the opposite sex (or the same sex) is absolutely ridiculous. And yes, they are allowed to hang out with them alone.

Relationships are built on trust and communication. If you don't trust your partner to make their own decisions and be their own person, then why are you with them in the first place?

3. Couples therapy's for couples who fight a lot 

I use to think that's what it was for. For couples who need counseling because they argue too much or something.

But, I mean, I went to a therapist before just because. You don't need to be "mentally ill" in order to see one. Same thing goes for couples therapy. Sometimes it's nice to just sit down and get a professional's unbiased thoughts and opinions on your guys' relationship.

4. Sex is an important part of a relationship 

Yes and no. It depends on the relationship. Sex is important, but it's not everything. If the two of you decide to wait, or decide not to engage in sex, that's fine. It's not required for a successful relationship.

That being said, it does have an impact in a relationship—if the two of you decide it to be.

5. Babies lead to marriage 

This one's a more "old-timey" one, but it's still something I hear about in the media.

The idea that you are now stuck together because of a life you two created is barbaric. Sure, the little guy (or girl) is a combination of the two of you's DNAs, but that doesn't necessarily mean the two of you are meant to be—marriage-wise.

6. Masturbating is cheating 

Personally, I don't think it is. It's natural. It's a normal, human act humans do.

There's nothing wrong with it, and there's no shame in doing so. That being said, I know there are people out there who believe it's cheating. This might just be a personal thing, and everyone's entitled to their own opinions, but I don't think masturbating is cheating.

7. If it's meant to be, it will be 

Maybe in a "true love conquers all" kind of way. That's actually what I tell all my girl friends involved with sh*tty guys.

However, if we're seriously talking about this, that's not how life works. That's not how love works.

Love is a choice. You're in control of your own destiny. So, if you decide to cut off a guy who wronged you and expect him to come running back to you: it's not gonna happen. If you don't take a chance and ask your crush out, they'll probably never know you liked them to begin with.

As much as I like to believe "if it's meant to be, it will be," you are essentially in control of your own love life.

There's no right or wrong way to date. It's really up to the individuals in the relationship. Maybe you agree with me, and maybe you don't. That's totally fine.

Relationships are hard work. What works for one couple might not work for another.

These are just my personal thoughts and opinions. Feel free to disagree!

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When We Get Swept Up In The Idea Of Love, We Fail To Understand The Meaning Behind It

We feel a spark, an intense feeling of endearment, and are quick to label it love, a product of our desperation to have it.

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Love is something we celebrate year round. That is why, despite Valentine's Day having passed by the time you read this, I am still choosing to dedicate this article to it. We strive to love and be loved. We know that it's important. We idealize what it feels like and spend our whole lives speculating about what it truly means.

Unfortunately, the price we pay in being swept up in the ideas of love that are presented to us is that we find ourselves more enthralled in our idealization of love rather than love itself.

We seem to enlist ourselves in a battle to love and be loved. To love and be loved. You see, in embarking on this journey, our motivation lends itself to more selfish terms. People begin to treat love as a transaction where they love with the condition of feeling that love in return. Love has never been a game, yet that is so often what people make of it. They are blinded by the idea that there should be a certain degree of "fairness," an even exchange, of actions and emotions. Couples keep score. Should I tell him I love him before we part ways if he didn't initiate it the last time? Do I buy him a nice gift for his birthday when he forgot to buy me flowers last Valentine's Day? Maybe if I don't do x, y and z he will realize he needs to "step it up" and treat me the way I treat him.

Love doesn't involve scores or holding out on giving someone our best just because they are not meeting our expectations.

Real love carries no expectations and builds and flourishes solely on itself. This being said, you cannot go out and truly love someone unless you have built that relationship of love and caring for your own needs with yourself. A loving relationship consists of two whole people, not two halves looking to be completed by each other. Two people with the mutual understanding that the responsibility of generating the other's happiness is not their own.

For some reason, we tend to view love as the ultimate end goal. Love is not a static destination, but rather a living breathing entity, constantly evolving. We feel a spark, an intense feeling of endearment, and are quick to label it love, a product of our desperation to have it. With time the feeling fades and because we were hasty and mislabeled the feeling, we automatically assume we have fallen out of love. You have not fallen out of love, you have merely reached the crossover between your idealized version of love and what it actually is.

People will nod their heads when they are lectured with the idea that love isn't easy yet will quickly become lazy once things are no longer as simple as they once were. They bow out when things become too hard and blame it on the fact that "they just weren't right for each other" or that "the world was against them." People find comfort in the idea that they can always find someone else and they traverse from relationship to relationship with new expectations built upon ones that hadn't been met in the previous one.

This is not love. To label this as such disgraces its true nature.

I don't really know what love is, to be honest. These are simply things I've learned and drawn from my own encounters with love, or what I think love is. Above all else, I believe that love is a vessel for growth. Real love is about learning and growing together. It is absent of "keeping score," there are no preconceived notions. It's about relishing the happiness you have when you're together. We should love not in exchange for love, but because we can. Because we want to, without restriction or expectation.

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