You learn about sex probably in middle school. Actually learn about how everything works and for the first time, you'll probably be in a relationship. Most teenagers become sexually active in the 8th grade, which is what I found true for a lot of my friends. The older I got, it became more and more prevalent in my life. In high school, the only thing people like to talk about is who is sleeping with who, calling girls "sluts" or trying to hook up with a lot of people, even more so in college. The pressure to be sexually active is overwhelming sometimes.

I lost my virginity when I was 16 to a boy I didn't even really like. I regret it so much now, that I'm with a boy I'm in love with and intend on marrying in a healthy adult relationship. I often ask myself why I did it, why I didn't stop to think. It was just the opportunity. All my friends were already doing it. I felt like a loser for not doing it yet. I thought it wasn't important or it didn't matter to me. Part of me was just curious. Being 16 I knew about being safe and everything, so I didn't think twice about it. I thought it would be great and I would never think about it again. It wasn't special and I hate whenever I thinking about it, so much so it makes me feel sick.

When I lost my virginity, I had barely been in a relationship, I was lying about where I was and he wasn't even very nice to me. He was just a stupid teenager, worried about his friends and high school and dumb stuff. He didn't take it seriously and it wasn't romantic or special or anything like that. We didn't even date for longer than four months. After that I was still in several relationships and it just never felt right. I didn't feel good doing it, I felt really guilty, probably because I knew deep down that it wasn't with the right person and it wasn't what I wanted.

Now that I am in an amazing relationship with someone I really love, I regret it so much more. I would do anything to have not made that choice, to been able to save that special moment for someone I really cared about and someone who really cared about me. Back then when I was young, I didn't think I cared and I was just screwing around. Well now that I'm not screwing around anymore, I really wish that I would have put more careful planning and thought into my actions. If I could, I would even want to wait until my wedding night to know that this person would love me forever and there wouldn't be any pressure or negativity surrounding the idea of sex.

I wish I could go back in time and tell my teenage self to wait, that there was something better coming and it was so much more worth waiting for the right person than giving into the temptations and the pressure put on us. Waiting to have sex doesn't make you lame or a prude or any other stigma, and you'll be proud of yourself. I feel so envious of girls that are waiting because I know it will be something they'll really treasure when they get older and they won't have regret about it. There's millions of women who chose to wait so if you're one of those women, don't feel alone!

I wish that I could go back in time and save myself all of this regret, and finally give everything I have to the person I spend forever with.