We all have our flaws. Everybody has something they are insecure about, something they wish they could change. Whether it be a bad breakout of acne, a set of bushy eyebrows, or something simple like an odd looking birthmark or a crazy laugh. The road to self-love isn't straight, it isn't smooth and paved. It's a treacherous, winding, journey that demands your full attention.
For years I was stuck. I wasn't happy with the reflection in the mirror staring back at me. All I could see were the flaws. I tore holes in myself, harshly criticizing every little detail. My hair wasn't perfectly straight, my clothes weren't all skin tight, my figure didn't meet up to the standards of all the other girls my age. I foolishly hung myself up for comparison to my friends and found myself coming back with only more self-hate.
Before you read any further, I would like to make it clear that this is NOT one of your typical self-esteem articles. I am not a girl fabricated from resilient self-admiration. I’m not blinded by the rays of my own vanity. I do not bleed confidence, or shine egocentricity, so consequently I’m not going to regurgitate some cliché motivational quote, type out a ridiculous list of guidelines, and instruct you to follow said recommendations devotedly in order to obtain a positive self-image. No, this is an article based off of my own personal discoveries and encounters directed towards those seeking advice on the topic.
I am a girl who understands all too well how awful it can feel to be unhappy in your own skin. I’m not perfect. I know the struggle. I’ve read all of the insincere guidance articles. I’ve been where you are, and I’m not ashamed to admit on occasions self-doubt still stops me dead in my tracks. I am a girl who will shamelessly tear her closet apart in search of a complementing blouse, and will end up taking refuge in a baggy shirt if I’m feeling a bit on the chunky side. I’m a girl that had to spend five years of her life in braces. I have stretch marks, freckles, cellulite, fat rolls, acne, anything and everything that a super model might find appalling. I wasn’t voted Prom Queen, or most popular. I’m probably the biggest introvert you’ll ever stumble across. Want to know a secret? All of that’s okay.
The biggest, and ultimately the easiest part to achieving good self-esteem is to first identify all of your flaws. Figure out what it is you can’t stand about yourself and make that your shield. Yes, certain people can be unbelievably cruel, however, in all honesty, nobody is harsher on us than ourselves. After you have identified all of what you concede to be flaws you have two choices. You can embrace them for what they are, a unique extension of yourself, or set them free and work towards becoming the individual you’ve always wanted to be.
Your mindset heavily influences your self-esteem. If you enter a gym or a Forever 21 with a sour attitude then you’re not going to walk out feeling accomplished. You’ve got to be driven. Stop avoiding mirrors, stop avoiding selfies, eat what you want within reason, don’t let the number on the scales ruin your whole week, and stop comparing yourself to other people! It’s a hard habit to break, I know, but trust me you’ll be a whole lot happier if you start putting as much attention as you do towards others towards yourself. If you want to do something then do it! Just because you were bashful in high-school doesn’t mean you can’t join a drama class in college. Nothing is impossible as long as you are motivated. If you suffer from depression avoid all the gloomy songs and make an entire playlist of energetic upbeat tunes to jam out to. Surround yourself with people who encourage and support you and cut your ties with negative individuals.
Finding inner peace is a huge step to achieving self-confidence. Whatever wrong you’ve committed in your life, forgive yourself for it. Make it your goal to make amends with people you drifted apart from for whatever reason. Go out and travel! Relish as many of nature’s wonders as you can. Try foreign foods, fall in love, take risk and make laughing a habit. Find religion and live the life you want devotedly.
Remember, these are not guidelines! These are just suggestions and a few things that helped me to be more comfortable around my own reflection. I highly recommend you explore your own means of self-coping. What might help one person might not do much for the other. Our distinct dissimilarities, and yes even our flaws, are what gives humanity it’s beauty after all.
