I’m 20 years old, a junior in college, and sometimes feel rushed to find somebody. As more and more of my friends are beginning to settle down, I find myself doing the complete opposite. I was the type who had a boyfriend all throughout high school, and partially through college. A few heartbreaks later I found myself a new person with a new perspective.
You see, when you have a boyfriend for so long you tend to lose sight of yourself. When you have a boyfriend it’s not just about you but it’s about him too. It’s making time for him in your busy schedule, splitting time (evenly) as best as you can between him and your friends. In the midst of all of that you lose time for yourself which is something that everyone needs at this age.
After a few not so easy break ups I came to the realization that I had not been living college to the fullest. One day I woke up and realized that college is all you have left to focus on yourself. When are you ever going to get the chance to live with all of your best friends in the same place again? Never. I realized that spending time with my friends and spending time for myself is exactly what I needed. This is the time when it's okay to be selfish. I got very involved in my sorority and am now the president. I found myself staying on the weekends and going out with friends rather than driving home to spend time with a boy. I started to do more things for myself such as reading, writing, CrossFit, hunting, fishing, and much more.
I think that at this age so many people get a sense of panic that if they don’t find somebody now, they’re never going to and this is where they’re wrong. I look around at my friends who are in relationships and realize that the majority of those are most likely not going to move past college. I see them missing out on things with their friends and losing time that they’re never going to get back. I think that girls at this age need to change their mindset. They need to stop worrying about finding someone and find themselves instead. Some girls are in love with the idea of love rather than the person they are with which causes them to settle.
After spending over a year alone I know that the last thing I want to do is settle. I want to spend time with my friends, family, and enjoy the last few years of fun I have with them rather than a boy. Time alone has made me my own person. I’ve spent more time getting to know myself than someone else over the past year and I’ve become very independent, mature, and clear minded. I know what I want in a guy; however, I am not looking for one because I do not feel rushed.
I know that taking time to myself has made me into the woman that I have always desired to be. I know that one day someone will absolutely ‘WOW’ me and that’s when I’ll know it’s the right time to date. Until then, I’m going to continue to live my life to the fullest and endure these last few years of college that I have. I know that ten years from now, when I’m sitting there next to the man that ‘wowed’ me I’m going to have so many stories to tell him about my college years that I will always treasure and never regret. So sometimes, remember, it’s important to stay single, be selfish, and have fun. These are years that we aren’t going to get back.